Thanks for the comment. It’s always refreshing to hear *yet another* view that I’m a bad slave. I’ve always questioned whether I really am a slave or not, so thanks for clearing it up for me by saying that I’m just ‘playing at it’ based on your observations from afar 🙂
I had a look at your blog because you left a link and I’m always curious about who reads me. So you have an on-line slave and less than a year’s experience? Funnily enough, I don’t think I’ve ever had a comment saying I was a crap slave from anyone other than those who live in lala land.
Amazingly, there also seems to be a correlation between people who really haven’t experienced M/s in real life and those who feel the need to tell other people they are doing it wrong.
Now before you tell me that online M/s is equally as ‘real’ or ‘more real’ than real life, let me tell you that I’ve done both several times and it’s not.
Trust me on this one.
In fact, I’ve had three on-line M/s “relationships” and of those, two developed into real life M/s situations where I packed up my bags and went to live with the person I’d been a devoted on-line slave to for months. The realities I found when I actually got there were very, very different. Everyday life was very, very different to the ‘perfectness’ of on-line life where there is no ‘life’ and just pure play and it was incredibly harder.
My first owner, whom I fell head-over-heels in devotion for, turned out to be a very different person to the persona he had presented to me on-line. We’d chatted for hours, talked on the phone for hours and done the webcam thing. I thought I knew everything about him and that we’d slide seamlessly into M/s in real life. He lied to me, cheated me out of considerable sums of money and, as I found out later, had a past that still sends chills down my spine. People are not always who you think they are and that can be said about both the Master and the slave in the relationship equally.
My second and current owner is also someone I met online. We chatted for months on-line and did the long-distance M/s stuff before I finally decided to go and live with him and be his twoo slave. We’ve been living together for nearly 4 years now and it’s been hard, really hard for both of us. There have been meltdowns, re-adjustments, removal of collars, re-collarings, crying, screaming and many arguments. Wow…if you take out the ‘collar’ stuff in that description it looks like I just described a ‘normal’ relationship – because ultimately that’s what it is. All of the arguments, adjustments and compromises are all part and parcel of learning to live with another human being and sharing your lives together. There are family, friends, job issues, pets, housing, bills etc. (all the stuff that never pops up in on-line relationships) to deal with as well as the M/s stuff. That’s what makes it hard – life. Life is so much harder than the M/s stuff.
I don’t say I’m a good slave or pretend to be something I’m not and the fact is, I’m still learning how to please and serve. And even though I may not be ‘here’ for Master emotionally sometimes, like when he’s sick as I wrote in my last post, at least I’m physically here, as in five metres from his bedside and my slavery is not dependent on an internet connection.
Sarcasm aside, I’m still looking for that definite moment when I can finally say to myself, ‘Yes, I’m a slave and that’s what I was meant to be’ but until then, I’ll keep working through my feelings and laying it all bare here. If what I say goes against your sensibilities as an owner of another slave, just don’t read it, okay?
(Oh and one last thing…above and beyond that on-line vs real life stuff, keep in mind that you’re not qualified to make any sort of judgement on my ability to be a slave because I’m not yours. The only person who has the right to give me a yay or nay on the state of my slavery is the one who holds the end of my leash – Master. Meaning not you, me or anyone else really has a right to pass judgement on what is his.)