Ceremonies and all that jizz

A couple of people we know recently did a collaring ceremony. From what we’ve heard of it, it was a mix of pagan rituals & other assorted stuff that involved a near-naked ‘collaree’, a broach-pin to extract some blood and a ring of breadcrumbs that no-one could enter or leave once the ceremony started. I can’t tell you exactly what went on because we didn’t go, but I’ve seen the pics and heard enough of what happened to get a fairly good idea of what the ceremony entailed.

I’ve witnessed quite a few people doing the ‘collaring ceremony’ thing recently and it seems to be the thing to do if there’s a shiny thing involved in your relationship, but I wonder, is there really a point?

I’ve done the big white dress thing and it was a great experience. I’m glad I did it; though I’m glad I did it more for the ability to be able to cross it off my life experiences list than the actual ceremony itself. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more stressful experience in my life for such an extended period of time than I did during my wedding preparations and the build up was so great, that the actual ceremony was a bit of a downer. I couldn’t shake the, “Is that all there is?” feeling once it was over with. In retrospect, maybe I needed some fireworks to really end it with a bang 🙂

I understand the desire of people to have a wedding ceremony in front of friends & family because it’s what society expects, there are customs & traditions involved that attendees are aware of and legally you need witnesses to sign the marriage certificate. But a collaring ceremony that has no legal implications, no societal acceptance and no meaning to anyone but the couple involved? I really don’t see it as anything more than another form of public play.

Maybe I’m harsh, or maybe Master’s lack of empathy is rubbing off on me, but I just don’t see the point of getting dressed up in some medieval-looking garb and pricking my finger with a rose.

I think the only thing people in kink can agree on (maybe, every now and then) is that everyone has their own definition of what they ‘are’ and what their ‘role’ entails. My definition of a slave can be quite different to someone else’s and then of course, there are the folk who say slaves only exist in certain third-world countries and that to even call someone ‘property’ is an insult to those who actually are property of another human being. So based on that, standing in front of a whole bunch of people and declaring you are someone’s ‘slave’, has absolutely no meaning to anyone else but the master and slave involved.

I realise there can be many different takes on a marriage too, like in some marriages the woman wears the pants and makes more money or everything can be split down the middle and they can almost be living separate lives. There are a million and one ways to live under the umbrella of marriage, but every marriage is defined by law and the basic rights of each party in the marriage are set down. People understand when you say you are ‘married’ and when the time comes to dissolve the marriage there are specific legal things you have to do. The reality is that there are bigger implications for ‘getting married’ than ‘getting collared’ and nothing shows that more than the absence of a Hallmark ‘Congratulations on your collaring!’ card at your local supermarket.

If I was going to do something, I’d do a branding ceremony,” said the scary man who holds my leash. “I’d get you naked, have you tend a fire for the brand, then have your friends hold you down while I had my minion sear the red-hot iron onto your flesh. All the while I’d be lounging back in my chair, sipping on a drink. That would be the only way to do it – have your friends well and truly fuck you over to the last.”

You’ve just got to love a man with an imagination, haven’t you?

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13 thoughts on “Ceremonies and all that jizz”

  1. I don’t get it, either, but I’ve never been one for public ceremony of any sort.

    When the Captain and I got married it was a lunchtime affair in his mother’s back yard. That was as much ceremony as I could stomach, having wanted to elope.

    We never had any real collaring ceremony. He just started slapping a collar on my neck.

    1. Just out of curiousity, when you start feeling like posting again, can you do a post about how it all started with you guys? I love, “In the beginning…” stories 🙂

  2. I think you are missing the point. Recently a friend who was in the process of spending more on his daughters wedding than I earn in a year said to me “we should do this more often, we don’t have enough excuses for a party and you cann’t take the money with you”
    regards
    John
    ps I think your blog is the best

    1. That’s exactly the time to declare it a ‘Japanese-style’ wedding and have all your guests give you money instead of presents. If you play your cards right, you can end up with more money than it cost!

      I’m all for a party though, just leave out the fooey beforehand and I’m there!

      Thanks for the compliment – I always try to amuse 🙂

  3. My Master had us do a collaring ceremony.. But ours was private. A more intimate setting where He asked me if i really wanted it and asked me a few questions to make sure i knew what i was getting into…

    Even for me a public ceremony for collaring is a bit… odd. But then again isn’t most of the lifestyle considered “odd” at one point or another?

  4. I once wrote in an email to kaya… “My Collar of Consideration was replaced with a Collar of Training by my secondary-mentor’s Master, who has agreed to be my Daddy and my Protector during my transition from primary to co-primary in my poly-clan-relationship-house-thing, so that our entire leather family can move forward to our Bonding-Wolf Ceremony of The Roses and HOLY SHITTING HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE FUCKING SERIOUS?!!? *dead*”

    So I’m going to leave it to you to figure out if I agree with you or not that it’s all a bit silly. 🙂

    In addition, The Man has spoken about branding me, too. I was all, “Oh, COOL! I’ve looked into branding and scarification before, and some tattoo and body mod places are actually really good and omg, cooool!”

    Then he informed me he’s decided it’s a worthless mark unless HE does the branding. To which I replied, “Yes, Master, whatever you think is best, Sir.”

    Hahahahahaha… Juuuuuuuust kidding! I actually replied “Oh, so THIS is how you’re breaking the news that you’re batshit insane? You are not even CLOSE to qualified to do something like that to MY SKIN! I’ll end up in the hospital with twelve-thousandth degree burns.”

    It did not result in the instant “omg, the bitch is right!” change of heart I was hoping for. Ah, well, maybe he’ll lose interest as time goes by… Here’s to hoping, for both of us!

    ~Chloe

    1. Hehehehehe….I wonder if the Bonding-wolf Ceremony of the Roses would be held at the local Yurpean House of Drama Llamas?

      Whenever I point out to the man that perhaps he doesn’t have the necessary skill to do something he wants without it resulting in me losing a limb or something equally as messy, it doesn’t lead him to have a change of heart or a lightbulb moment either….what is it with that?

  5. ** then have your friends hold you down while I had my minion sear the red-hot iron onto your flesh.**

    gets out the branding iron *evil smirk*

  6. i wasnt invited but saw the pics and wondered what all the who ha was about. i mean the couple involved have been together many years, invited some people they really dont know and by the pics didnt look very happy, just my observations here from one who is so drug addled she dont know up from down *thank god for pain meds i say lol*

    1. We weren’t invited either 🙂

      That’s exactly what M said – they’ve been together for years, she has his head tattooed on her thigh, what’s the point in doing a ceremony now?

      I looked through the pics too and the body language of some people was hilarious. You could see they didn’t want to be there…lol.

      Hope you start feeling better soon! xx

      1. You two need to comment on photos like that so I can go look at them. I have no idea who is doing what and where these days. LOL I want to see uncomfortable people!!!

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