After two, maybe three glasses of wine and a ridiculously over-priced and not very nice meal that included one raw oyster that I downed in an attempt to (yet again) overcome my loathing of oysters, I spent the hours of 1am-4:30am feeling incredibly nauseous and like I desperately wanted to vomit.
But I didn’t.
I made numerous trips to the toilet down the hall from my bedroom where I spent considerable amounts of time hugging the porcelain and willing myself to vomit.
But I didn’t.
So I decided to help nature along by shoving some fingers down my throat. I knew I’d feel better if I could vomit, so down the fingers went. One finger…two fingers…pushed all the way down the back where I fumbled around with my tonsils, and I moved my fingers around and pulled them out and shoved them down again, hoping to make myself heave, but nothing.
I know in certain circumstances, having an under-evolved gag reflex can be a wonderful thing, but when you’re desperate to heave it can be a bummer.
Eventually at 4:30am, after downing several panadol and managing to throw up a bit, I fell into an over-tired slumber until 6am when I heard Master get up. Then I slept some more and got up at 10am to have some toast with vegemite and a cup of tea – my settle-my-stomach breakfast of choice.
Speaking of gag reflexes, have you ever thrown up while having a cock shoved down your throat?
Although, it wasn’t so much the interaction of the cock and my gag reflex that did it, it was more what the cock smelled like and where it had been before going down my throat that made me throw up in my mouth a little.
(In case you hadn’t guessed, I have a strict TMI policy on this blog…sorry….)
I remember distinctly there was a reasonable amount of rear-end action where I thought my ass was going to be forever broken, and then I was flipped over with my head hanging over the side of the bed and there was a cock-down-throat situation.
I’d done an enema that day but apparently there are some things that even 3L of warm water won’t remove.
By the way, vomit and a cock down your throat really restrict your ability to breathe. It’s a good idea at that stage to remove said cock from throat before the receiver dies and then you’re answering uncomfortable questions about why there’s a dead girl on your bed wearing shackles and there’s vomit on the sheets.
And just as a public service announcement, one thing I found really helped de-evolve my gag reflex was swallowing whole chunks of different foods. Start out with something soft like bananas and gradually make the pieces bigger. Then move up to grapes, cheese, apples, carrots etc. Then you graduate to half-swallowing them and bringing them back into your mouth again and doing that over and over.
Funnily enough I didn’t set out to de-evolve my gag reflex, I just started doing that when I was a kid because I liked the feeling of swallowing and being able to feel things in my throat.
Well, after sharing that information that you probably didn’t need to know, I feel like I need to hurl some more. I think I’ll go back to bed.