I spent most of my day entertaining the electrician who came over to install a new power point for M’s recently purchased stainless steel oven. Tradesmen, in my opinion are a necessary evil: I can’t do the shit they do so I need them, but at the same time I feel totally invaded when they start messing around in places people aren’t meant to go.

Like the back of the refrigerator.

“Looks like you’ve got some mouse poo back here!” he yelled gleefully as he manoeuvred the fridge out of the way to get at the wall cavity.

It was at that point that I was so mortified, I actually started cleaning.

Because nothing will get me cleaning like fossilised mouse poo behind a refrigerator.

Then a few hours later while I was dutifully de-cobwebbing down-pipes he asked if he could use the toilet. As I showed him where it was, I couldn’t help feeling invaded again.

Because nothing makes me feel more invaded than people using my toilet.

Which is really strange because I don’t have issues with public toilets other than when they don’t have toilet paper and I don’t have tissues so I have to do the jiggle-shake-panty-dab.

And you know what? After someone has used my toilet, I can’t use it myself for several hours. Instead, I go and use M’s toilet until my levels of ‘invasion’ have settled down a bit.

I’m strange, aren’t I?

But speaking of invasion,  a couple of question from Ipi on my last post reminded me about another particular time when I feel a bit ‘invaded’.

The enquiring mind of Ipi asked:

Are solo orgasms enough for the rest of your life? And if they are is that just because you have issues with letting go in front of others or has it become a kink of sorts? Would you like it to change in time(for the better, however scary that is)?

Well, to answer the questions: probably, no, dunno.

All clear? 🙂

I smiled a little when I read the first question. I suppose people who have had mind-blowing, multiple orgasms as a part of their daily life can wonder how I could possibly get by with anything else. To be honest, I’ve never known anything different, so yes they are enough – they have to be.

See, I’m a bit special in the clit department and I have complete sympathy for men who have trouble locating one because I often have trouble locating mine. My clit seems to move like a ghostly set of keys that aren’t where you last left them and sometimes, it’s just not there at all and when it ain’t there, there isn’t anything that can coax that sucker out – try as I might with whatever is on hand, including my hand.

Just for the record, it seems to be genetic. My mum has apparently never had an orgasm in her 59 years of life and it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a lesbian! My sister, on the other hand, seems to have inherited my randy dandy father’s genes and has absolutely no problems any which way – if there be dick, she be cummin’.

So I hope that cleared up questions one and two and now onto question three…would I like it to change?

That’s a toughie. In an ideal world, I’d be a sexual beast and my clithood ring would be something more than just a piece of jewellery, but I’m not. In fact, having a release involves the alignment of the planets, a sacrifice of goat and two pieces of twine (that McGyver hasn’t turned into a helicopter). It’s tough work and being under pressure pretty much guarantees that nothing will happen. Sometimes M likes to have me do a release in front of him and the whole time I can feel him waiting, waiting, waiting and it just takes my release far, far, far away.

Other times he does things that I find pleasurable under the right circumstances i.e. nipple ouchie-ness, but don’t enjoy without some stuff to balance out the ouchie-ness. This is when I find it ‘invasive’. Sometimes I have to fight the urge to say, “You’re doing it wrong!!” but I have to remind myself that in those instances it’s not about what I want or what I enjoy, but about what he wants and enjoys.

I like to set aside a good hour or two for a release and things have to be just ‘so’. Actually I think it’s getting harder as I get older to get any sort of release, so when I repeatedly have to spend my days off entertaining tradesmen when I could be having a well-planned release that I’ve looked forward to for ages, NOT HAPPY JAN!!

(Have I mentioned that the dishwasher guy has failed to appear on 5 separate occasions now?? Five days over three weeks when I’ve been hanging around feeling impending invasion and not able to have a release…REALLY NOT HAPPY JAN!!)

I’m sure a lot of helpful people would at this point suggest some counselling or drugs or something to better my orgasm-challenged situation, but honestly, as I’ve said before, I’ve never known anything else so it doesn’t bother me. I call it the ‘dishwasher effect’ – if you never have a dishwasher, you can spend your life washing dishes by hand and wondering how good a dishwasher actually is. But if you have a dishwasher and then you have to go back to washing dishes by hand, you are so fucked because you know what you are missing and it makes it 50x worse.

We’ve had a non-operational dish-washer for over 3 weeks now. For three weeks I’ve been washing dishes by hand and moaning and whining about my lack of dishwasher for the entire time, but for the first 29 years of my life I didn’t have a dishwasher, didn’t want a dishwasher and didn’t understand the fuss people made about them.

Then I experienced the pure joy that a dishwasher brings to your life and I wondered how I survived 29 years without one.

Life is interesting.


15 thoughts on “Invasion

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  1. Actually for me the question wasn’t really about mindblowing orgasms so much as it was about a satisfying sexual life with your partner, which can include much more.

    Adding to the health of the relationship, not just being a better slave.

    1. I’m not quite sure what you mean by a ‘satisfying sexual life’ if you’re not talking about orgasms. Is there something else I’m missing out on?? 😉

      Jokes aside though, my ravishings include everything but the orgasms, so what else could we/ I be doing to improve the health of our relationship in that area?

      1. Well for many women sex even without an orgasm is very pleasurable and even satisfying. IF they are attracted to their partner and he either takes an interest in their pleasure or it’s a side effect of what he does.

        As you didn’t answer the other questions (is your reason for choosing such a relationship in the first place partially due to your sexual functioning?) it’s hard to see if you get any of that or that you are just providing a service that comes with the territory.

        If that is the case you can still enjoy it but unless you have the “I’m a sexdoll” kink it wouldn’t feed you. And is ofcourse a breeding ground for negativity.

        Counterintuitive as it seems things you don’t know can indeed be missed, subconsciously.

        Also, you are not anorgasmic like your mother but may be on the road towards that due to external factors. The clit is not a penis and it doesn’t need to pop up to be of use. Unless your method of masturbation is reliant on wanking it. If I had to rely on popular methods I would never have gotten of, my clit (at least the tip) is more of a sideact (and stays hidden). I think my method relies on friction and pressure that stimulates the arms of the clit that lie around the vaginal opening.

        But blabla technical stuff. There is enough to read OL about reaching an orgasm for women who have trouble.

        And really you have a headstart as you can already have them, many of those women would be jealous. I used to read the blog of a woman about your age who had been faking her orgasms her whole life, and was now trying to get there with her master (who used to think she came almost too easily). It is a painful process. At least you weren’t faking.

        But in your relationship the point would be mutual pleasure. I can see how as a sub wired person him clumsily messing around down there for 2 hours would just lead nowhere, hell even the vanilla wife hates that. And it just doesn’t work for the orgasm challenged woman.

        Which is why a little low pressure intimacy with a time limit (short)where the goal is you trying to relax and give him truthful answers to what you enjoy would be a second step. (first is you doing it on your own).

        But like I said I don’t know anything but what you mention in your blogs and while you talk about “releases” (what are you releasing if you are not sexually wired?)and some backrubs are mentioned what happens in the ravishings I never registered as sexually pleasing you. As most of the time you had very painful things going on in the places that supposed to register pleasure. And you are not that type of masochist.

        In my opinion even M/s relationships follow the basic relationship points, respect/friendship, sexual attraction/ satisfaction/ bonding/ intimacy for a healthy basis to stay together. M/s is just one of the ways people experience that.

        Perhaps with the right people. Otherwise it’s more of a fantasy, big mean master, helpless slave etc. Which obviously works OL or for a short while in RL.

        Not that people don’t try for a long time anyway. Reading OL you see it all over the M/s places, it’s what gets them off so it must be implemented in their relationship. D/s is a bit more flexible luckily. But that M/s wall has some stubborn headbangers…sporting impressive erections.

        So myeah are you one of them?

        If so I doubt a sexual aspirin is going to help.

        The cynical yet still trying to be helpful reader

        1. In answer to your question below:

          Is your reason for choosing such a relationship in the first place partially due to your sexual functioning?

          No. I chose this sort of relationship because originally the idea of being someone’s property and the associated bondage and other play was something that turned me on.

          It has only been in this type of relationship that I’ve been able to be honest about my difficulties in the sexual area, though.

          I’ve never really been interested in sex as far as getting sexual pleasure myself. For me, it’s always been about the feelings of being used/taken/just a piece of meat. I’ve enjoyed the humiliation and sometimes the associated pain. In a similar way I’m not interested in being kissed or fondled or whatever for my sake alone.

          As far as my anorgasmic mother is concerned, she just hasn’t been introduced to a hitachi wand 🙂 Seriously, it changed my life. I also didn’t mean literally that I’m trying to get my clit to pop out. In fact, I don’t find stimulation of my clit to do anything for me. My ‘hot spot’ seems to be on the side and ‘inside’ (if that makes sense), requiring some serious pressure or pushing down onto the hitachi in order to ‘feel’ anything.

          I agree that even M/s relationships follow the basic relationship points, respect/friendship, sexual attraction/ satisfaction/ bonding/ intimacy for a healthy basis to stay together. It’s not all about the sex, but it certainly does help 😉

          1. I think it was easy to assume that I meant M/s with “such a relationship” but I meant the flying over to be his property without knowing what he looked like and therefor not knowing if you were sexually attracted to him physically at all. And I suppose you had already discussed the use of you without your sexual pleasure being important or perhaps even wanted.

            In my little circle the Doms I know are actually very turned on by making their sub crazy with lusty stuff while they are tied down. So I do not think it is all that easy to find a guy who purposely doesn’t need you to be sexually wired.

            I don’t think you getting a mental turn on from the trappings of BDSM is quite the same thing.

            The getting off on the use without sexual pleasure is a valid kink but that’s the difficulty with such a relationship. Yes to wanting to feel used, yet feeling bad about just being used.

            I’m glad I don’t have that battle before me, hehe. Emotional masochism isn’t my thing.

            And yups, the clit (the tip) is overrated as the only path to female orgasms. Propaganda I say. Do you ever lay on your stomach onto the Hitachi/something? I find the pressure of my body really saves my hands strain and gets me in the right mode superfast.

            And as for D/s, I luckily just have that wiring that I can of on his “forcing” me to have pleasure because he wants me weak like that. I imagine him smiling/laughing at me for my lack of control, and being very turned on by my easy reactions.

            So that saves me the associations of him just doing it for me that many subby types get turned of by.

  2. My wife is the same way. If a worker uses the bathroom she has to clean the bathroom immediately after he leaves.

    1. I can’t even bring myself to go near the toilet let alone clean it! But I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one with this kind of hang up.

    1. Yeah, kids are grotty 🙂 I like having my toilet that I can fill with magazines and things to keep me amused while I’m in there.

  3. I hear you when it comes to the dishwasher bit. I grew up being told that anyone with two hands should wash dishes by hand. I did it for all of my childhood and teenager years. When the unit Master and I moved in to came with a dish washer, I laughed and said I had two hands and so did he. I used it once, and it was all downhill from there. I never wash dishes by hand now unless I need a specific pot or dish.

    1. Hehehehehe. Yeah those damn things can be addictive! I guess it was like switching from a twin-tub washing machine to an automatic 🙂

  4. I only had a dishwasher in one place that I lived, and only lived at that place for a few years. But I rarely got to use it because my mother kept hogging it. You see, she has a ton of extra dishes an silverware and stuff, so she would just leave the clean ones in the dishwasher, let the dirty ones pile up, and then put the clean ones away and run the dirty ones in the dishwasher and run it. Then leave the clean ones in… and so on. Then she would get all pissy if I asked her to put her things away earlier or ask if I could put her stuff away for her so I could use it. Oh, sometimes there was a gap between the putting things away and cleaning the dishes, but it was usually only about half an hour or so and often during times when I was very busy or not there. And she blamed me for not taking advantage of that. So, for my things, most of the time it was hand-washed even then.

    And when I did get a chance… well, she was pretty thoroughly hand-washing her dishes before putting them in, except she wasn’t using soap, to the point where you might as well just use soap and not even bother with the dishwasher, and would throw a fit if I didn’t do the same. So I never really experienced the advantage of using one even when I had one.

    Though it wasn’t just the dishwasher, during those years she was doing a whole totally-out-of-one’s-mind roommate-from-hell thing. With the added insult of generally being treated like an incompetent child despite that I was in my late 20’s. Apparently because things were more stressful than usual and she handles even normal levels of stress badly.

    1. I use the dishwasher as a ‘storage cabinet’ too 🙂 It’s just in the handiest position for storing dishes and why bother putting dishes away if you’re just going to have to take them out of the cabinet to use them??

  5. If yoru dishwasher is down consider just replacing the damn thing, most times the cost of repair ends up more than the cost of replacement.
    New machine, as little as $150,

    new motor as much as a $150, plus labor
    Other parts can be costly if you can’t do the gig yourself.
    A full switchout and replacement can take about two hours.
    Trust me, I know of what I speak.

    I teach tradesmen at the local school.
    I wish you well.

    1. Hi Rarius,

      In Australia, the cheapest dishwasher is around $500 so it’s still in our interests to fix it. The motor is okay – it’s just a split pipe and some old couplings that need replacing.

      Thanks for the advice though 🙂

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