It’s just not doing it for me


It’s just not doing it for me.

I try…but it gets me nowhere.

These past few weeks, I’ve been trying Experiment in Slavery #587 and to be honest, I still suck at being a slave and I still feel like it’s a whole heap of hooey.

No matter what I do, I’m just not that same submissively-inclined person I was before. I don’t even think I have that ability to get into slave head space anymore. I feel so far removed from it all that I find me trying to be a slave almost comical.

And then I was thinking about it (in the bath, not the bus this time) and I had another epiphany of monumental proportions.

We have needs and we seek ways to have our needs fulfilled.

Then the needs are gone.

If I’m hungry and need food, I eat something and the need is gone.

So by that logic, doesn’t it mean that it would be rather peculiar for me to have an eternal need for food even though I was getting sustenance?

I don’t think needs are self-perpetuating. I think they are meant to appear, be met and then disappear.

I had a need to be a slave, it was met and now it has disappeared.

C’est la vie?

3 thoughts on “It’s just not doing it for me

Add yours

  1. There are needs and there are compulsions, I think.

    If you ate and were no longer hunger, you wouldn’t feel content two weeks later thinking “I ate and I was satisfied, that is enough”.

    If my children were to suddenly disappear, I wouldn’t think “I was a mother for a while, that is enough”.

    But if you were hungry and your stomach told you to head to the pantry and put some food in your mouth, the compulsion to eat would be satisfied.

    I have no idea if that makes sense.

  2. I suppose it could be different for everyone.

    I think slavery is a need for most who live with it. But there are (at least) two kinds of needs.

    One, a recurring one. Like food. Slavery and all its trappings might be like food for some people. For every aspect of slavery – whatever it is in a specific relationship – they need it, they get it, and they will keep needing it. Like spanking, or sex, or humiliation, or kneeling on the floor. You need it, it happens, then you need it s’more! While you certainly don’t need (and can’t withstand, mentally or physically) to be spanked or humiliated every moment of every hour of every day, you may never tire of the CYCLE of needing, getting, and needing again.

    The other kind of need, maybe the kind you feel/felt, is different… A woman may feel an all-consuming desire to climb Mt. Everest, for example. She will spend years training, planning, fantasizing, buying equipment, dreaming. She will climb lots of mountains in those years, to practice and learn. And she will embark on the journey, The Climb, and it will be hard as all hell. She might hate moments of it, or even all of it, but she NEEDS to reach the top more than she needs comfort or warmth or anything she is sacrificing to make the trek. And once she has made it? That’s it. The need has been met, she has achieved what she set out to do. It changed her as a person. She learned and she grew and she has an entirely different view on life. It fulfilled her, no doubt, but she doesn’t need to climb that mountain anymore. Maybe she doesn’t need to climb ANY mountains anymore. The need won’t resurface because it’s not a cyclical one.

    (Maybe for that second one, it’s easier to say “Life is like an education. You may choose new paths, and go back to school more than once. But you’re never going to need two degrees in the same field. Four years of studying the same stuff, earning that degree, is enough. You’ll never have to (or want to) earn that degree again, even if you go back to school.” Maybe neither of those analogies makes sense. 😀 Yay me!)

    I dunno… Maybe I’m way off base in general. But I figured I’d hop on your train of thought for a couple of stations. 🙂 Thanks for having me on board.


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