One of the perks (I guess you could call it that) of my job is that there are only two people in the office – with one of them being me. This means that when the other person – also known as my boss – is away, it’s just me, myself and I in the office.

So for the next two weeks it’s just me, myself and I in the office while my boss goes gallivanting around overseas. This means that I get to come to work in comfy clothes and sneakers and I also get to amuse myself in really obvious ways without having to look like I’m doing something.


And while I won’t be announcing any parties at my office on Facebook for the masses to attend, I’ll be chilling out in between little spurts of work.

M and I are taking one of his visiting relatives out to dinner tonight. We’ve decided to try one of the few Japanese restaurants that we haven’t been to in town. The only problem is I’ve totally spoiled M by taking him to ridiculously cheap and yummy restaurants in Japan so his enjoyment of any restaurant here is halved before we even get to look at the menu and start screaming about being charged $7 for 3 takoyaki (octopus balls – no, not what you’re thinking, but balls with pieces of octopus in them).

It’s his cousin who is over for work and apparently she ‘loves’ Japan and wants to hear all about it. All I can say is, “Join the queue, babe!” because every man and his dog these days wants to know about Japan.

I find it quite funny because I went to Japan before it was ‘cool’ – before anime & Miyazaki movies became popular and even before the internet. Well, I might be exaggerating that last bit a little, but I was into my second year in Japan when I heard about a new thing called ‘hotmail’ and immediately signed up for an account. I was actually one of the first few people who got their real name as their email address and a four letter password.

Now that really makes me feel ancient…

Actually the reason I got into Japan in the first place was very simple. It was the beginning of the 90’s, interest rates in Australia were 18%, unemployment rates were in double digits and everyone was convinced that Australia would soon be owned and run by the Japanese.

“Study Japanese!!!” was the spiel of every high school career counsellor and so I did. (I also happened to fail miserably at French and German, but Japanese somehow clicked with me so it was an easy choice.)

Funnily enough, I didn’t actually start to love Japan until I left. I guess when you’re there, all the cool stuff just becomes a ‘part of life’ and generally speaking, you’re too busy to really enjoy it anyway.

The bad thing about living in another country is that your view of life really opens up. You see the good and the bad in your home country as well as wherever you’re living and the comparisons can drive you crazy. If you had never lived anywhere else, you’d be none the wiser about how ‘good’ things can be (and also how ‘bad’ things can be) and you’d just accept what you had, knowing no different. Once you’ve learned that there are other things and other ways, it’s hard to accept something inferior. It would be great if you could just take the good things from each country and set up your own little Utopia somewhere…

I think kink is a little like living in a different country. Your world is opened up to a wide range of new possibilities and experiences and once you’ve sampled the delights, it’s difficult to go back to something ‘less’.

I think a lot about going back to ‘vanilladom’ and pushing all that kink stuff aside, but honestly, I don’t think I could. I’ve seen the dark side and that experience has tainted me forever. Once it’s with you, it’s with you for life and I don’t think I could just sweep it all under the carpet and carry on like nothing ever happened.

I know I can’t just close the door on Japan and go back to just being an ‘aussie’ because it was such a big chunk of my life and has had such broad-reaching influences on my thinking. So even though I must sound like a broken record to everyone who knows me, I’ll keep starting every second sentence with, “In Japan…” because that’s who I am.

As for that other question, you know, the ‘what am I?’ one…well…I’ll get back to you when and if I have an answer.


6 thoughts on “Tainted

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    1. Japanese may have clicked with me because I’m a mutant 🙂

      I think it’s the norm for people from English-speaking backgrounds to struggle with Japanese simply because it is so different, so relax in the knowledge that you’re not a mutant!

    1. Lol…England is still home even though you couldn’t find clothes pins for ages?? 🙂

      Home is where the Master is?

  1. I just read something about ass glory holes in Japan. Bars were bare asses are stuck through holes and customers sit down and sniff and lick them. Are you heard of these bars? You have to love quirky Japan.

    1. Lol..wouldn’t surprise me. If they’ve got ear-cleaning fetish clubs, there’s sure to be an ass fetish club somewhere.

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