I’ve been struggling with my weight (again) since we came back from Japan in April. I indulged in just about everything calorie-ladden beauty I could lay my hands on while we were there, systematically going through my ‘things I want to eat in Japan’ list and unfortunately, the indulging seemed to continue even when we got back. Two weeks ago I hit a very low ‘high point’ of having gained back half of the weight I spent most of last year losing in the space of 4 months. Don’t you hate just that?
And I really hate admitting shit like this, even though it’s great as a reader to read about people failing. I like nothing more than reading something where I can go, ‘Ha ha! Sucked in biatch!’ but I do have to say that it’s not so much fun on the other end! Lol.
The really sad thing is that I’m mostly worried about the weight gain in terms of what my family think. When I saw my family last I was pretty much at my weight loss peak and feeling reasonably happy with all their comments and this year when I go home at Christmas, I’d like to not be back at beached-whale weight. I’ve spent the last 15 years seeing my family sporadically – maybe once a year or once every two years – and so I’ve always been uberly conscious of my big ‘arrival’. It’s always been a ‘put make up on in the plane’ situation for me although I know they love me no matter how I look, I feel a definite pressure inside me with every impending trip home.
Anyway, so nine or so weeks ago I decided to enter the 12km run in the city to surf taking place this Sunday. Being an absolutely pathetic runner, as in, can’t-run-100m sort of pathetic I started doing the couch to 5k programme. Until about the 3rd week it totally sucked and then it started getting….I wouldn’t say easier, but more manageable, and so I started speeding things up and finished the c25k on 7th August. Yes, people I graduated by finishing a non-stop 30min run.
Then I really started panicking about the city to surf, so I started the gateway to 10k programme and at the moment, I’m half-way through it at Week 5. After the city to surf, I’m hoping to complete the programme and then I’ll have to see what I want to do to keep myself motivated – highway to 10km?? Do these things never end??? Lol.
So I went to pick up my race bib and timing chip that I have to thread through my shoelaces yesterday :
I swiped my chip on the checking machine and all my info came up, which I thought was very swish.
Seeing all the uber running type people there collecting their bibs was scary, but then I turned the bib over and looked at the medical info I had to fill out:
I realise that they’ve got to cover their asses if someone has a medical emergency, but I was reminded again that it’s pretty serious stuff. Pray for me people.Being the slightly anal person I am, my brain is full of niggly little things like, ‘What should I eat for breakfast so I don’t have to go to the toilet an hour later?’ and “Should I wear a long-sleeved top or a short-sleeved top?” I’m really over-thinking this, aren’t I?
So even though I’ve been running for two months, I wasn’t really watching what I was eating and I got into an ‘exercise=reward’ head-space where I felt justified in eating everything I came across.
Yeah, big, huge mistake.
So two weeks ago I started a 12 week blitz (a.k.a stop bingeing and eating crap fuckwit!) and instead of dropping my calories right back, I decided to try eating more, and you know what? 1400 seems to be my magical number – as in 1400 net calories (food minus exercise).
Admittedly, I’m doing some pretty heavy exercise at the moment, as in running and walking about 60kms a week, but still, it’s been really interesting to see what eating more (but more of the right food) will do. It’s still early days yet, but the numbers are finally moving in the right direction.
But you know why I choose a 12 week blitz? That’s the number of weeks until Christmas – give or take a few. I’ll be making the six-hour plane journey to my hometown and will arrive on Christmas eve. The question is, will I be the old me or the new me?
P.S M politely informed me that I really needed to finish Part 9 of Japan so we weren’t stranded in Osaka for ever and ever. Actually I think his words were, ‘Get your finger out of your arse and do the next part of Japan bitch!’ Of course, his wish is my command.