M and I had a week full of job applications and assorted aches and pains. I applied for a job that in the best analogue Japanese way required me to actually snail mail in my resume and a cover letter and M had an interview for another position on Friday and applied for several others during the week.
In the aches and pains department, M thinks he has arthritis in his shoulder and I was dealing with the period of doom, a blister the size of a fifty cent piece on my foot and a non-functioning index finger on my right hand. I think we both need putting in a big pot and boiling up. (I’m not actually sure how the boiling in a big pot thing works, but my sage nanna always used to say it, so I’ll just go with the flow…)
I met a Japanese friend in town for coffee on Thursday and had a great chat for about three hours. Like me, she’s never gone down the route of having kids or particularly wanted to get married and so I find I really click with her. We’re both at that stage in our lives where we’re looking for ways to make our existence meaningful and it’s really refreshing to find someone who doesn’t want to talk about their kids/family/partner woes.
I think it’s great if you find fulfilment in creating progeny and your life revolves around your family, but I hate feeling like I’m “strange” because of my life choices. I hate the endless number of movies and tv shows that portray woman as only ever being successful and complete once they have a husband and children almost as much as I hated being asked *when* and not *if* I was going to have children when I was married.
And this may sound petty but I hate the fact that having children sees you getting so much financial support from the government and a VIP “parents with prams” carpark space right outside the supermarket. It’s your choice to have a baby, so why should I be disadvantaged because I chose not to have one? Shouldn’t you have to deal with all the responsibilities of having a child and all that it entails- extra financial burdens, heavy prams, etc.- if that is your choice?
I understand governments are obsessed with birth rates, population growth and whatnot, but quite seriously, I often feel like I’m being punished because I haven’t jumped on the child-rearing wagon that everyone has. But to me, I feel I should have the equal right to live my life as I choose without feeling inadequate or disadvantaged. Is that too much to ask?
/dismounts from high horse
I think the rush of babies on the blogs I read has got me thinking a lot about this topic. A good half of the blogs I read regularly have turned into baby zones in the last six months or so. Part of me is sad that people whose writing I enjoy and whom I often admire have done something so ‘predictable’. I’m also sad that inevitably their blogs turn into a discussion of sleepless nights, toilet training and spit up. I know their blogs are their own creative outflow and will always turn to topics that are current for them, but I’m always sad to lose another member of the ‘non-child-focussed club’.
Anyway, so that was pretty much my week.
Notes to self:
- Don’t go to IKEA at 11am on a Friday morning on the last day of school holidays.
- Don’t answer phonecalls from your boss on your day off – ever.
- Don’t even think about running on streets with names that include any of the following words: Ridgetop, Mountview, Escarpment, Heights, Trail, Deadman’s Bluff, Runner’s Folly, Big-Mother-Fucking Hill.