You may or may not have noticed that I changed the look of my blog. I felt it was time for a spring clean, so I’ve changed the template and the background image. The change-over was pretty painless except for the fact that now my menus don’t cascade, so I need to go in and make myself a heading page that I can put all the links to the individual pages on. Bear with me while I avoid doing that annoying task with all of my might, okay?
And I’m so proud of myself for using the word ‘cascade’…
Now does that sound ridiculously geeky or is my twat as furry as a bear rug? (yes and yes)
While pottering around on my blog, I happened to glance at today’s search terms and had a rip-snorting chuckle.
Speaking of search terms…I found a link to my blog in a blog written in German and was insatiably curious, so I sat there with google translate (because my skill with German ends with guten abend) and worked out what was written there. It turned out to be a blog about how interesting the search terms on my blog were. It was gratifying to know that my quirky search terms had gone global…lol
And as a last snippet of stuff that you didn’t really need to know, but will find endlessly amusing, I’ll tell you about my unfortunate run-in with long-lasting lipstick.
The other weekend we were invited out to lunch and I was again under strict instructions from the man to go ‘slutty’. I managed to squeeze into a dress that – quite honestly – I’m a bit too fat for now and thought I’d go for the slut look with some cfml (cum fuck me lipstick). It was a deep purple and the type that is not supposed to budge. And actually, as far the ‘not budging’ is concerned, it performed really well…
…on my teeth…
All the lipstick on the inside area of my lips managed to rub itself onto my teeth giving me a look akin to a yokel who had spent the last two hours chewing tabac. Mmmmm…oh so sexy.
And of course, being non-budge, I COULDN’T GET THE DAMN STUFF OFF.
So I was sitting there trying not to open my mouth and still surreptitiously scrub the crap off my teeth with a tissue, all the while making polite conversation with people (as we’d just fucking sat down) and putting my lunch order in.
I think I’d rank this right up there with my skirt-tucked-into-my-underwear-at-work experience and the embarrassing boss-makes-joke-about-M-taking-me-for-a-walk-by-attaching-a-leash-to-my-collar experience.
Sometimes I feel like I need a stunt double for my life…