I’m not dead.
I haven’t been abducted by aliens.
And I haven’t been sold into slavery.
(…couldn’t resist that one…)
I’d like to be able to say that some seriously good shit happened and I was so busy enjoying myself that I didn’t have time to blog.
But it didn’t.
Actually the slightly banal reason behind my long absence was the fact that we didn’t have internet for OMG FOREVER.
Actually it was five days, but in innernet time, it equated to several years.
I’m now 35.
And now the internet is fixed and my hands have stopped shaking and the twitch in my eye has gone.
That withdrawal thing is some serious shit.
Not much else to report.
Other than the fact that I was seriously looking at the letter opener on my desk…and my wrists…and the letter opener…and my wrists… last week as I whiled away many hours doing sweet FA at work.
Please god, let me have a new job.
I’ve been good and painted my toenails for each interview I’ve attended.
And I’ve purchased a new bra that was several sizes too big in order to attend a job interview sans nipples-in-interviewer’s-face.
What more do you want???
Oh, and I also made bread.
With my bare hands (and an oven).
x 2 loaves.
A crusty rye and a swiss grain with 9 grains and 2 seeds.
I feel so proud.
And just in case you ever need to know, the inside of a range rover is a perfect place to prove bread.
I wouldn’t necessarily go out to buy one just to prove bread, but if you have one hanging around on your driveway and it’s not covered in snow (like the rest of the world appears to be at the moment) give it a go.
Oh, and I’m totally over studying.
35,000 word vocab lists are just ridiculous. I’m betting half the words on there aren’t even known by your average native speaker of Japanese.
Oh, and I’ve got my test on Sunday.
And a dentist appointment on Monday.
Where, no doubt, I’ll be made to feel like a norti kid for not flossing my teeth more regularly.
Does anyone actually floss when they don’t have something stuck between their teeth??
Oh, and my laptop died.
Well, not the laptop, but the power cable. I swear they make those things so fragile on purpose so that you have to spend oodles of money to buy a new one.
$100 for a frickin’ cable??? The damn laptop’s not even worth that.
So I attempted to fix it with a pair of scissors and duct tape in my best-ever MacGyver impersonation, but it didn’t work.
Obviously I needed some string as well.
Then I gave up and ordered one from the internet.
In a very anticlimactic way.
Oh, and I watched Iron Man 2.
Should I be disturbed by the fact that I’m starting to find Mickey Rourke hot?
Yes, you’re right.
That is seriously fucked up.
So on that note, until next time.