One down, fifty one to go

Well I survived my first week at work…barely. As far as the new job is concerned, I haven’t been kicked in the rectum so hard and so fast for quite some time. It was an interesting experience for my almost-virgin asshole that had been firmly seated in my comfort zone for quite some time. A change is as good as a holiday they say, well I just got back from my holiday and I’m feeling the need for another one to get over the change I’m going through…lol.

M commemorated my first day of work by buying cupcakes for me and by snapping a pic of my outfit for day one as I stepped out the door:

Then he commemorated day two by snapping a pic of my outfit:

And then he commemorated day three by…..Are you seeing a theme? Lol…

Basically my new job is my old job but on a much, much larger scale with the added bonus of lots of English to Japanese translation and inter-company politics. In case you’re wondering what I do do when I’m not wearing boots or finding interesting things to substitute for lube, I export things. In my previous job the volume was in the range of 1500MT a year, in my new job it’s about 150,000MT.  I’m also working 2.5 times the hours and wearing double the make-up. That’s a fair jump for me and as a result my rectum is sore.

Really sore.

Oh and my foot is sore too. Right where my new cute little mules rubbed a patch of skin off my foot on my first day of work when my boss announced that she was going to take me on a lap of the area around the office during lunchtime so that I could get a ‘feel for things’. It was a great idea, but not when it was 37 degrees and I was wearing new mules.

These ones:

Fuck me gently with a brick they hurt.

Speaking of fucking me gently with a brick, the whole E>J translation thing in my new role has also pushed me way out of my comfort zone. You’re not really supposed to translate into anything other than your native language, so I’ve been working up a sweat – quite literally – attempting not to do too many faux pas with the language. I’ve mentioned before that Japanese is a minefield in terms of levels of language and I’ve been wracking my brains to keep everything at a suitable level of business politeness. I’d equate it to writing legalese in English in terms of difficulty. Hopefully with practice it will come easier to me.

But I made it through the week and today, determined to have a sleep in after waking up before 6am every day in order to get to work on time, I woke up at 7am…because I needed to poo. Obviously my body decided that after not feeling comfortable enough to poo sufficiently during the week that after reaching the weekend and being in the comfort of my territory that it was time.

Thank you body.

Today was my birthday so M took me to get some cupcakes and we had Vietnamese for dinner as per my request. The cupcakes were adorable:


Two cupcakes & a bonus carrot muffin


I ate the heart one and felt like I’d had my sugar intake for the next two weeks. The proportion of icing to cake was significantly larger and obviously the source of my sugar rush:

I haven’t eaten Mr Wormy yet, but I’m looking forward to nomming on him tomorrow.

For my birthday, I also got some perfume:

A teacup/pot set thing that nests and was a very difficult thing to pack in my suitcase:

And when I came home from work on Friday there was a bag sitting outside the front door that had been left by a lovely friend living nearby with more goodies in it. A magnet:

And a mug that I’m going to take to work because it’s a perfect size and has a lid which will be handy for keeping my tea warm while I’m so busy that I don’t have time to scratch my ass let alone sit and have a cup of tea:

M was very kind to me and gratefully went along with my plan of forgetting my birthday. I’d really rather not be reminded that I’m a year older by my SO, as having to buy some anti-aging cream recently was reminder enough. Fortunately the whole painful experience will be over with in two hours and thirty minutes. Begin the countdown!


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