Reaching new heights

We had a five-day weekend over Easter this year thanks to another public holiday landing slap bang in the middle of that Christian pagan festival and so I took the opportunity to take my sloth-ness to startling new levels.

I ate. I slept. I ate some more. I trolled the internet for porn. I ate. I played WoW. I ate.

RInse and repeat for five whole days. Yep. My levels of sloth achieved were so impressive that I’m actually still surprised that I managed to do sooooooooooo little for soooooooooooo long.

It was good. Damn good.

Then I went back to work today and within an hour the twitch in my right eye had started again. Actually I’m thinking now that it’s not stress and just a poorly fitting contact lens. Do your eyeballs change shape over time? I’ve had the same contact lenses for about 5 years now and never had problems before. It just feels a bit ‘wrong’ like it’s a bit too small.

(Oh and for those kind souls who are going to leave me advice in the comments, I have 2 week disposable lenses, haven’t changed my cleaning solution brand, have tried it with two different new lenses and my prescription is -3.5. Feel free to mock my blindness if you haven’t got any advice….)

In my trolling for porn, somewhere between Saturday and Sunday, I got totally obsessed with anything slave-like and went searching for stories, pics and I eventually ended up trolling youtube for whipping/torture/slave-girl/harem clips from movies.

Then I was reading ‘training’ stories on literotica and getting more obsessed by the moment.

It was bizarro with a captial B.

In fact, I haven’t felt that kind of ‘fire’ for a good 12mths or more and it came out of no-where. Well, it probably came out of watching too much porn, but I’ve watched considerable amounts of porn over the past year or so and never felt fire like that in all that time. It was scarily reminiscent of me in my bdsm-n00b days.

Actually, I was this close, to asking M to tie me up and do nasty things to me, but I felt weird and totally embarrassed about asking him to do something like that, so I took matters into my own hands.

Did I mention a few weeks ago that I discovered the delights of rubber bands on boobies? I’ve always had an issue with rubber bands because my boobies are fairly non-existent and the normal rubber bands you get just fly off your tits and nearly take your eye out.

Then I thought of M’s stash of christmas pudding rubber bands (he uses them to cover the pudding bowls with cooking paper while they steam for 8 hours so they are pretty damn industrial) and voila! These babies stay on!! Yay… And if you add two or three…and some clover clamps…and some weights….and some pulling….well… *fans self*

I also did something else I haven’t done in literally for.ever:

I de-beavered.

I had a good two+  inches down there so it required half a tube of Nair,  two razors and half an hour. I now resemble one of those hairless cats. Rowr! Or is that, I can haz cuddlee blankie nao pls?

So that was my Easter. No easter eggs, but copious amounts of porn and chocolate. Mmmm..


9 thoughts on “Reaching new heights

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  1. I’m pretty sure the Eye is the only organ in a human body that is full grown at birth.. But I might of just pulled that out of muh ass lol

    Fact check might be in order

    1. I’m pretty sure you’re right on the eye thing. I’ve heard that too…maybe my eyelid has changed shape 🙂

  2. Your eyes can definitely change shape. Pregnancy does it, so presumably other things can, too. It’s slight changes in the curvature of the eye that affect prescription strength, so it would make sense that your contacts wouldn’t feel right if your prescription had changed a bit without you noticing.

    And with that, I’ve proven I probably know more about the human eye than I thought I did.

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