The purge

I’d like to say that contrary to the title I haven’t been purging, but actually I have. In a big, big way.

I contracted a lovely bug/virus/thing that made me check whether my life insurance was up-to-date on Tuesday night and I spent many, many hours vomiting up everything that was in my stomach and what felt like my bowel and my uterus for the next two days.

TMI?

Probably….sorry.

I haven’t actually been that sick for quite some time. At first we thought it was my appendix because I still have one and because I was in pain with a capital P. Also because I don’t eat grass regularly so it’s probably teetering on the edge of exploding.

Speaking of the appendix, you really should watch Eddie Izzard’s skit about intelligent design (the appendix bit starts at 10:45 so I’ve auto-cued it to start there, you just need to click on the play button at the bottom left-hand side)

In fact, if you haven’t watched any of Eddie Izzard’s stuff, you should immediately troll the innernets for any little bits of his shows you can get your hands on and then you should promptly go out and buy all his videos. He’s a funny, funny man.

So anyway I took two days off work and spent the entire time hugging the porcelain bowl.

M was good during the purging drama. Although he didn’t play the good girlfriend role and hold my hair back as I vomited, he gave me plenty of quiet alone time and took me to the doctor when we attempted to go the second time. The first time was funny because he’d made an appointment for me to go and see the doctor at 11am and so I somehow managed to roll out of bed and put some clothes on. He then spent ten minutes trying to open the car without the alarm going off and by the time he got the car open and went to start it, we discovered that the car battery was flat.

Doctor’s appointment part two was at 3:50pm and I waited about thirty minutes in the waiting room before getting to see him, all the while thinking positive non-vomiting thoughts and making sure I had a clear line to run to the toilet if I needed.
The doctor offered me the choice of pills to stop the nausea or a needle. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you which option I took. Thanks to the pills that also knocked me out, I finally managed to stop vomiting and get some sleep and so I shuffled back to work on Friday.

In purge-related news, I went on a bit of a blog clean out a couple of weeks back and so I removed all my questionable flickr pics and whatever posts I could find on my blog that were also of a questionable nature i.e. showed anything other than flowers and rainbows. I’ve decided I don’t feel comfortable with pics of me doing stuff I don’t do anymore on my blog, so they are gone.

Freebies & melons

Well, it looks like I’m off to Japan and probably Korea at the end of May for work. I’m excited, but also not excited because it’s going to be a week-long apology fest in which much bowing and scraping will need to be done to pissed-off customers. The other reason I’m not excited is because I’ll be towing around a slightly grumpy and quirky seventy-year-old man, another man who does not eat fish in any way, shape or form (god help me….) and my immediate boss who is quite anal and quirky herself.

(I’m not sure what it is with quirky people and their propensity to flock to me like a moth to a flame. Maybe I’m sending out too many quirky vibes myself and you know what they say about birds of a feather – they flock together and then plummet to their deaths.)

But it will be Japan, regardless of who I’m with and what I’m doing, so it will allow me to recharge my Japan batteries, which have been running low since my last visit a year ago. I’m also planning on bringing back insane amounts of food, books and dvds to tide me over to my next visit so that kind of out-weighs any negatives about the trip.

More importantly, it’s a free trip!! So who gives a shit, hey?

It’s looking like we’ll be heading up north so I may get to see some of the tsunami effects first-hand. This may be good and may be bad as I normally become a snotty mess just by looking at pictures and video on the innernets, but I’m sure it will be ‘good’ on some level, somehow.

And what else has been happening….not a huge amount actually. That’s why I haven’t been posting much – that and the fact that I don’t have time to be in my head all the time and angst like I used to. I used to grab ideas and churn them into blog post that would provide me with mulling fodder for quite some time, but these days I just don’t have the time or energy to do it. Pretty much I get up in the dark, work all day, come home in the dark, eat, go to bed and rinse and repeat for five days. Weekends I grocery-shop, wash and play wow. So that’s my life in a nutshell.

Three days a week I also go for run in the dark before I eat. That’s my ‘training’ for the half-marathon I’m supposed to be doing in August. Running in the dark is not too bad actually except for those heart-pounding moments when you see someone else and you wonder if you’re going to get mugged for your iPod. The other bad thing about running in the dark is the increased chance of stepping in something that you can’t avoid because you can’t see it. At the moment I’m dodging rotten melons.

Rotten melons?

Yes. Rotten melons.

I have no idea why, but it seems to be the thing for people to dump vines with melons attached along random roads in outer Perth suburbs. These melons then fester and the smell is…..well, have you ever smelt a festering watermelon in your garbage bin? No? Then you’re definitely missing out on a life-changing experience. And trust me, you do not want to step in said festering melon.

It’s Mother’s day today and I’m working up the motivation to call my mother. Not that I don’t want to talk to her or anything, I just hate using the telephone. I wish it was socially acceptable to e-mail your mother on Mother’s Day, but I don’t think the human race has evolved quite that far yet. I don’t think I’ve actually spoken to my mother since I was home at Christmas time. Funnily enough, she hates using the telephone too so she doesn’t call me. I wonder if there’s a telephone-hating gene that I’ve somehow inherited from her?

My cuddlee arrived and it wasn’t quite what I was expecting. I was expecting something akin to a monk’s robe that I could shuffle around the house in, but it’s actually just a blanket with sleeves. Now a blanket with sleeves works fine when you’re laying on the lounge watching the Big Bang Theory but for anything else, it doesn’t work.

When my cuddlee arrived I actually held it up and said, “WTF?” M said the funniest thing too along the lines of, “Do you think they forgot to sew it up?” We were both expecting the poncho-cum-Enigma outfit and felt totally ripped off with just a blanket with sleeves. So the hunt for suitable winter attire continues.

Speaking of Big Bang, I ❤ that show. There is something so disturbingly familiar about Sheldon and his lack of human empathy. Not mentioning any names of course, I’ll leave you to figure out who he reminds me of.