This is the same man who once said if you ever decided to not be his slave you would have to leave? Just Wow. Never say never eh?!
Nope, never say never. You may also be amused to remember that I’m also the same person who said on several occasions that I’d never be able to beat someone’s ass and who cringed at even the slightest thought of being the one in control. Yesterday I had great fun eliciting more than a couple of ‘Owww!’s from him
Mwah, mwah, mwahhhhh!
I think this situation is an excellent example of how people are constantly evolving and changing. There are no guarantees that you’re the same person today that you were yesterday and I’d find it hard to believe that someone can remain the same over five years.
Congrats. Reading his blog I was struck by him leading you to do things too. I am glad you see and can’t wait to follow your and his adventures.
Thanks! I’m trying to figure out whether he realises what he is doing or is oblivious to it, or whether he knows and just doesn’t care. A cynical part of me is favouring the latter 😉
I’m actually really surprised at how similar and yet how different we are in our submission. He does things that I would never have dreamed of doing, yet doesn’t do things I’d expect as a given.
I’ve been reading M’s blog and I have to say it’s had me sitting here with my jaw dropped in amazement. I would NEVER have thought he’d take a submissive role, but hey life is short, if you two are happy then why the hell not? Nothing wrong with experimenting etc, who knows where it will go… Enjoy the journey…
Life is short and sometimes it’s good to go with the flow. We can’t all live the lives that we thought we wanted and we can’t all be what we thought we were. I would NEVER have thought he’d take a submissive role when he was making me cry or beating me black and blue, but hey, he looks pretty damn submissive with a rope around his balls and chained to the bed.
I’ve been reading his blog for the last week & it’s interesting to now read from your perspective.
Yeah, there are always two sides to every story. Sometimes it’s more interesting to see what one person chooses to leave out or what one person adds in. He’s also more of a blow-by-blow re-teller while I’m a more feelly-angsty-what’s-going-on-inside narrator.
One thing I’m curious about, having read both of your accounts: Do you feel as if he’s topping from the bottom? Or do you need his suggestions at this stage?
Topping from the bottom? As I said, he’s a work in progress 😉 I think there’s quite a difference between communicating and suggesting. While I like to know how he’s feeling or if there are any problems, I don’t need him to tell me what he enjoys or what he thinks I should do. At this stage, I’m still finding his efforts to steer me in his preferred direction amusing. I’m sure there will come a time when I stop finding it amusing and dues will need to be paid.
Whoa. Who’d have thunk it? I put myself firmly into the “blown away” category.
Me too 🙂
Did he just think to himself “I bet she’d like me to wear a collar all the time,” or did you mention this somehow? Or is that what he’d like you to want?
I certainly didn’t say I wanted him in a collar. At that stage, I was still in the WTF is going on??? head space and he was wholly driven by his feelings of what he wants me to want (regardless of how he might package them up as what he thinks would ‘please me’). Although I have said jokingly in the past that I would like him to wear the same collar so that he knows how it feels i.e the discomfort, the random feelings of suffocation, the heat, the weight. He may have mixed his want with my off-hand remark to arrive at the Paypal screen.
We’ve had a little discussion since the ordering of the collar incident during which I told him that now I don’t particularly want him in exactly the same collar as I used to wear – for obvious reasons.
Down the track, I might want him in that sort of collar. I don’t know. As I keep pointing out to him, he had years of thinking and plotting about how he wanted to keep his slave – I’ve had a week.
I am shocked but also like oh man. Pretty much makes you have new blogging stuff though! I think we always do too much with definitions. If your cool and he’s cool then why not? Good luck on this journey!
New blogging material galore! I’m wondering whether it’s the ‘right thing’ to divulge as much as a domly one as I did as a slave though. There’s a certain expectation of just doing the domly job and not picking through it with an emotional fine-tooth comb, don’t you think? Or is that just a boy/girl thing?
Stunned doesn’t even begin to describe me right now.
i’ve been following this development over at M’s blog (or should that be ‘m’ now? ) so it’s interesting to read your perspective…it sounds to me like you two just plain ol’ love each other and whatever way that works, it’s worth a shot. i was wondering if you think this submissive tendency is in any way related to M’s search for employment?
And one more question, does the idea of having to always be the *strong* one freak you out? I mean I know you’re highly organised and very structured and considered in the way you go about things (good qualities in a domme I would imagine) but…I dunno…I guess I’m asking if you’ll miss being *taken care of* emotionally (if that makes any sense).
Has me becoming the bread-winner had an effect on our relationship? Absolutely. Personally, I find it very hard to play the submissive role when financially I’m in control. I know other people don’t have an issue with it, and a lot of slave boys pay to keep their Mistresses in the lap of luxury, but I find it challenging. Remember all that moaning I did about being forced and having no choice and that’s how slaves ‘have to be’? Yeah, well that still holds true for me as a slave. It may not hold true for M.
To be honest, I’m not sure what would happen if next week he started earning more money than me, but I have an inkling that he’s too firmly in the throes of collar fever just now to even let that effect things.
I think the idea of responsibility freaks me out a bit. That’s the single biggest difference between having play sessions and becoming Mistress and slave as far as I am concerned. I’ve generally shunned having responsibility up until now both in my work life and private life, but maybe now is the time for that to change. Maybe it’s time for me to grow up and take life by the balls.
Highly organised and very structured a.k.a is totally anal?? 😀 Yeah. M says I’ve always liked being bossy and getting my own way and actually that may not be too far from the truth. M is so not anal though, I wonder if he really knows what he is getting himself in to. There is a lot of one scoop of creamed potatoes, one slice of butter… oh… and four peas in me.
Hmmm… I wonder why I’m not surprised? Would I be more taken aback if I read here more readily? I don’t think so…
Maybe there’s no surprise factor because I suck at being a slave?
Thanks for all the comments and questions everyone.