Please see below

I thought about making the title of this post:

I need to update my “about page” – can you get your collared slut boy to do that sort of shit? And more questions about domming for Mistresses new to the other end of the cane.

But then I realised it was too long and much funnier in the body of the post so ta-fucking-dah!

Is anyone else noticing the sassy tone to my writing recently or is that just me?

I think it’s a by-product of having someone enthusiastically lick your boots and call you at work five time in three minutes because they were told to find the hand-cuffs and they couldn’t. I could almost hear him peeing himself as he broke the news. I imagine he was thinking about what I’d do to him after his failure to find said hand-cuffs.

But seriously, am I that scary?

Little ol’ me??

I think he has been uberly worried ever since I watched several hours of Divine Bitches porn on the weekend. I found it very useful for ideas, but I do have to question the vigorous use of the strap-on. It does seem like a lot of work and I feel like I might chip a nail doing it….

So I’ve still got masses of stuff rolling around my head at the moment. I’m sure it would be fodder enough for posts for the forseeable future, but again I’m torn between how much to say here. I feel there is a certain image to uphold in being the quiet, silent domly type. I’m not sure I want him to see into my head too much when I’m the one in control because that illusion of control hinges on me seeming like I have all the answers and a clear direction. I think it annoys him more than anything at the moment that I don’t *know* if this is something I want to do in the long-term. As I’ve already said to him, I need more time to process everything and cope with the change in mind-set. Although I wasn’t very far into slave mind-set territory before all this started, it’s still been a big leap of faith for me.

But I have to say it is really, really eye-opening to be on the other side of the fence. Seriously people, if you haven’t made the jump already, do it! Actually, I think doing the jump earlier would have made me a better slave – although it sounds really weird to say that. All that angst and questioning, pondering and moaning would have been cleared up with a couple of days in bitch boots. Perspective truly is a fabulous thing.

I do know that I need to make some new purchases for the toy box or toy rack as it is now known. I got all anal on the weekend and hung everything up on clips around his bed so I would have everything within easy reach. I also felt it was educationally sound so his instruments of torture would be the last things he saw at night and the first things he saw every morning.

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3 thoughts on “Please see below”

  1. We go away for a week and come back to this! First of all congratulations to you both. From your blogs, you both seem more excited about life than you have for a long time. I must say I am not surprised at all and have actually been waiting for this to happen for some time. Just seen the gradual power shift.

    Now for a couple of suggestions:

    1. You need to decide on a name for yourself and especially put your profile name into Capitals. As you know, I am not one of those Dommes that believe I have to refer to myself in capitals every time but you should use capitals in your name as it is the first indication to others on fet etc as to who you are.

    2. You need to decide on a name for you boi. It’s your decision, not his. he seems to be doing a very good job of topping from the bottom, subby bois can be very needy can on occasions get whiny if they are not pulled into line early and given a clear set of guidelines about what is and isn’t acceptable. However, you also need to be aware that both partners’ needs must be met ie remember how frustrated you used to get when you were craving bondage and he didn’t hear your needs. So yes, it is a power exchange but it is also a bit of a Catch 22, as you both need to be getting out of it what you want. However, it can also become quite tedious as the Dom/Domme if you have to listen to constant “suggestions” of “you want to do this to me or that to me don’t you”. If he keeps doing this, you need to make it perfectly clear to him that requests by him will take them completely off the playing field.

    3. You need to be sure of what you want and who you are. As a woman, you will sometimes be hormonal, vulnerable and/or emotional and it is OK to be all of these things and yet still be a strong respected Domme. I am only bringing this up, as to be honest, it is something I struggled with a bit at first. I found it a bit hard to reconcile the sensitive side of being a woman with the my other Domly side. he will (if he hasn’t already) need to realise that these moments of “feminine vulnerability” should not be taken as a sign of weakness. In fact sometimes this is the time a subbie boi should be most afraid – *mwwwaaaahhhhhh*

    4. Just remember when you are playing/beating/hurting/etc him as a new Domme NEVER be afraid of making a mistake coz it ain’t gonna hurt you one bit honey!!!!

    5. You may need to spend some quiet alone time to decide what you are looking at getting out of being a Domme, what will bring you pleasure, you have to get used to the feeling of power and control. Believe me, it is addictive. Enjoy every second. If you have any questions etc please do not hesitate to ask.

    6. When I started out as a Domme, I found after I discovered who I was, I had to learn to “own it”. You can’t “own” anyone else until you have learnt to “own” your own essence of power and control and then your control over someone else comes naturally.

    Welcome to the dark side babe!

    xxx

    Ms Blair

  2. I tried topping a subbie boy once and spent the whole time laughing. It felt ‘odd’ for me and whilst it was fun having a go at topping, it wasn’t for me. I ‘might’ change my mind sometime down the track though.

  3. agrees with every thing MzBlaire has said, especially this bit, as thats what i have noticed the most. his making suggestions is him keeping the control and leading you where he wants to go.

    * it can also become quite tedious as the Dom/Domme if you have to listen to constant “suggestions” of “you want to do this to me or that to me don’t you”. If he keeps doing this, you need to make it perfectly clear to him that requests by him will take them completely off the playing field.*

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