Dear Person sitting next to me on the bus,

I have a lot of bus rage during the two hours I spend on the bus each and every day.

My rage starts with people who take to step onto the bus. It then starts to simmer with people who have to riffle through their stuff for five minutes to find their bus card/wallet/money . It reaches boiling point when people attempt to buy a concession ticket and when asked for their non-existent concession card spend five minutes making a show of going through their wallet to ‘find’ the non-existent concession card and finally have to fess up by saying they ‘forgot it’. But my bus rage totally speweth over when people have a complete disregard for the Empty Seat™ rule.

I’m sure you are familiar with the Empty Seat™ rule when it comes to movie theatres i.e. there must always be an empty seat left between you and the person next to you when said theatre is not fully packed, but it appears that you have some kind of a problem realising that the Empty Seat™ rule must be followed when on any form of public transport – especially buses.

It is standard bus etiquette that as soon as an empty seat row becomes available, one must move into that row so that the person sitting next to you, no longer has to sit next to you.

By ignoring the Empty Seat™ rule, you are forcing me to sit cramped up in my seat for my hour-long bus ride, while the whole fucking bus is empty!!!

Move, you turd merchant or I shall be forced to take drastic action…I might just be forced to hog the non-existent armrest for the entire journey. I’ll have my arm on the dividing crack between the seats and you’ll be forced to concede some of your personal space to me!

Ha! See how you like that! Mwah mwah mwah….

/evil plotting


6 thoughts on “Dear Person sitting next to me on the bus,

Add yours

  1. my pet hate on public transport is people who talk in the quiet carriage on the train. Gah! STFU asshats!!!! My commute is a 7 hr round trip. The 5 hrs on the train is quiet time needed for the preservation of my SANITY.

    1. I so hate people talking really loudly – whether it be to someone else or their phone….I’m hoping that’s not an every day commute!

  2. People need to fuck the fuck off on the bus. Seriously. Also, if I’m on the bus with my multitude of children, this is not an invitation to conversation regarding kids today, your own children, or how I must be busy. If I DON’T have my children with me, just kindly go die somewhere far away from my seat.

    1. Random conversation from strangers – my number one pet hate. They must think you have a sign around your neck saying, ‘My kids really don’t bother me enough, come the fuck over and bother me more.’

      1. I thought of you last night when I was on the bus. I added “people who sit in the outside seat and leave the inside seat inaccessible when the bus is crowded”, “people wearing too much scent” and “people with braying laughs sitting directly behind me” to my list of hates.

        1. I thought of myself on the bus last night when the stoopid person sitting next to me did it again! I was ‘this’ close to telling them to fuck off to another seat row.
          I’ve added coughers and sneezers to my list of people who need to get the fuck off my bus.

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