So…I may have accidentally introduced my boss to tentacle porn

I think the title says it all, but I guess I’d better explain…

Late last week my boss and I were driving to do some work stuff and we basically spent the day alone in the car together. We talked about all manner of topics from thermomixes, to Better Call Saul and then eventually to some work-related stuff that specifically involved discussing our very special group of customers and some of their…ahem…interests.

I haven’t really talked much about doing business with Japanese folk, and obviously your experience will differ from industry to industry, but in my current industry, our customers are mostly male (let’s say 99%) and the average age is somewhere between 40 & 60. That encompasses a very particular, old-school breed of Japanese men who generally enjoy going to girlie bars, occasionally fondling blonde western girls who speak Japanese (!!!) and possibly tentacle porn in all its varied forms.

My boss has been travelling to Japan for the last 12 years or so, but I guess the Japan he sees and the Japan I see are a bit different. He does recall fondly the time he was taken to a sex shop in downtown Tokyo by a customer and he saw all manner of devices that made him ask the question, ‘But where is the rest of the woman?’ and that does make me laugh until I nearly want to pee whenever I think about that, but the kind of stuff he saw barely makes me bat an eyelid because I know about all the other weird and wonderful stuff that proves rule 34 (and possibly rule 35).

We had a customer once come into a petrol station (because we don’t have gas stations and we don’t have convenience stores) with us while we were buying water and snacks for a trip and while we were piling drinks and chocolate bars into the basket, he casually put in a copy of Playboy. That’s weird from an Australian perspective, but not so weird from a Japanese perspective. We also take our customers out to dinner when they visit us and I always feel their sense of disappointment when we drop them back to their hotels afterwards, because I know they are actually expecting to go to a strip club or some other den of pleasure because that is how business works in their world.

So anyway, back to the tentacle porn. We have a customer who apparently delights in porn in all its forms and ‘can’t get enough of the stuff’ and when I commented to my boss that he seemed like a guy who was also into tentacle porn, he asked me, “What the hell is that?”

That was probably when I should have told him to google it and ended the conversation, but being the helpful former teacher that I am, I decided to fill him in on the basics. If he didn’t think Japan was weird before, he thinks it is weird now. He may also think that I know a little bit too much about tentacle porn for my own good.

I’m not entirely sure if tentacle porn started in Japan and neither is Wikipedia. There are some old woodblock prints showing octopi and people doing some weird stuff and there’s also the theory about it being the brainchild of a manga artist who wanted to circumvent the then pornography laws in Japan that prevented people from being shown doing lewd acts ( If we can’t show a penis, let’s use some androgynous tentacles to impale this pre-pubescent looking girl!) but who really knows where it started and why.

All I know is that rule 36 is always true.

ruleso11

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