The itch

So M and I had a very interesting chat in bed this morning during which I pointed out that he had been almost as bad a slave as I am. That’s a conversation that is very weird to have while you’re wearing the collar and the boots and have your arm twisted up behind your back and he has his finger through the ‘o’ ring and is about an inch away from your face.

What was even weirder was that then he pointed out that I should know what it’s like to have a disobedient slave and how frustrating it is when you’ve got rules and they don’t follow them.

In summary, think about the other side of what you’re going to say before you say it, especially if you’ve been on both sides of the fence with your SO.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a bit more about this service thing and what slaves are supposed to get out of dynamic. It seems easy enough to say that slaves are supposed to get joy out of service and that is sufficient ‘reward’ for what they do. But is it? That seems a bit cushy for the domly one, don’t you think? Here, as your slave I’ll do everything for you including drinking your piss and wiping your ass and I can just be happy doing that, tyvm.

It might just be me, but it just doesn’t seem to add up.

So what are domly ones supposed to do in return? Or is it really only supposed to be a one-way relationship. Is the domly one supposed to see to the needs of the slave? Are they supposed to give them play or pain or whatever it is that they need as a given because it’s a relationship and there has to be give and take on both sides or everyone starts getting very jaded?

I keep wanting to respond to that question with, ‘But you’re a slave! You get what he wants to give you and you have to be happy with that!’

And that’s why I keep going around and around in circles with this thing.

I have an itch that needs to be scratched at the moment. I don’t really know exactly what is under the itch. It’s different to my beating window and not my usual feeling. I just know I need something ‘more’.

It’s driving me insane.

life

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