The friend zone

Playing with friends: weird and uncomfortable or doable?

I had someone tell me that playing with a friend is a big no-no.

From a safety and trust perspective, it seems fine, but from a feeling and relationship perspective, is it a wise thing to do?

So I have a friend that I’m considering doing some things with. He likes me. We’ve chatted a lot. He has lots of experience and I know he is a good person but there’s a little voice inside my head that stops me from saying, “Go ahead and have your way with me.”

I’m not sure if it is the voice of reason or the voice of the keeper who sits on the wall that runs around the friend zone keeping the gremlins out and the warm, fuzzy feelings in, but whomever the voice belongs to, it’s making me doubt and hesitate.

I’ve generally had a ‘spark’ with people I play with. I tend not to have sparks with friends and that’s why they are friends and not lovers. Sparks make me nervous and giggle and feel things in my nether region whereas friends make me feel comfortable like I’m curling up with a cup of hot cocoa and reading a good book.

Play should be about sparks, right?

Or should it be about scratching my itch and experiencing how someone else can play with you within the security of a trust-filled relationship?

There’s also the question about whether friends can move from the zone into spark-filled territory. I know people from the sparkzone can definitely move into the friendzone, but can the other direction work as well?

This question of itch-scratching is also a good one. He has an itch and so do I. I’m pretty sure we can scratch each other’s itches, but what then?

Can you go back to the friend zone after being up close and personal with another person’s pink bits?



10 thoughts on “The friend zone

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  1. Going back into friend zone can be awkward for both of you.
    I did it with a vanilla relationship. We have eventually got to a place where it isn’t awkward between us, but it took a little while. We had to had a period of little contact before we could pick up our friendship again

    1. Yeah…I don’t want the awkwardness. That’s why I’m hesitant to take the plunge. I have enough awkwardness in my life already without adding to it.

  2. There is no reason why friends can’t play/scratch itches without it being awkward after or needing to turn into something else, as long as both know the friendship will remain as such, it can work. I have played with a male friend and to this day we remain friends, even after being up close and personal with my pink bits.I think you just need to separate friend who stays friends and friend who could become more and go with the flow and don’t over think things, enjoy it for what it is.

    Keep it non sexual as that is where problems arise as emotions become involved but there is no rule that says you can’t play with friends and have fun without it becoming complex.

          1. He is an acquaintance of yours, he has eaten at the lunches you and Mark starts with R lol

            1. Interesting…also known as the man with steel hands!
              Was it weird when you played? Did you have some of those awkward moments?

    1. Rock songs have also told me:
      Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?
      There must be some message there 🙂

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