I’ve been a bit scarse here on the pages of the ol’ blog these days. I guess this is mostly because I’m still living the same old life that I had before – that of working and gymming but I’ve added several layers of being sociable to it and that has made me a bit time poor.
Also, things are complicated, really complicated, a lot more complicated than I thought they would ever be and I really don’t know how to feel about a lot of stuff going on. I’m finding it easier just to keep on rolling like the boulder down the hill and worry about dealing with the bottom when I hit it.
I have a few more people in my life these days. The characters on my stage are varied and they are all playing different roles to varying degrees.
The best addition to my life is a really good male friend. I haven’t had once since high school and I think my life was infinitely poorer for it. We’ve bonded over a lot of things personality-wise and life-wise and it’s really nice to just be able to spend time together and not to have to worry about the ‘other stuff’ that often complicates m/f relationships. I ask him about relationships and he asks me about relationships and in between it all we play boardgames and gossip.
In a slightly Gone with the Wind-esque old school way, I also have a lover of sorts…I feel weird calling him that and in fact, I really don’t know what we are, but we generally enjoy each other’s company and he introduces me to his friends as his ‘lady lover’ (which I complain about because it makes me feel like a granny!) In typical me-fashion, he is considerably older than me, although he’s going on eighteen and to complicate matters even more, he is vanilla and doesn’t really understand the whole ‘kink’ thing I have. I challenge him in many ways in how I think about relationships and the role that I play. When he saw me all bruised up after the play party a few weeks back, he was a bit overwhelmed.
I forget that the muggles might find that sort of stuff disturbing. I guess it depends on the person in terms of how they take it on board, but he is very much into respecting his partners and being an attentive man.We met through a mutual friend and he is on fetlife, so I expected him to be totally on board with everything, but he is still trying to understand all that ‘stuff’ as he calls it.
I also have been auditioning for a play partner. I’ve had a couple of interesting experiences and by interesting, I mean slightly out-there. One was a poly situation in that he already had a live-in slave, although he was adamant in saying that they were not monogamous and play partners were welcome. Anyway, I went to their house once for dinner where we had a chat about things and then I went back a second time for a play date. She didn’t take part in it and about three quarters of the way through she lost her shit and got angry and stormed out. There was a bit of screaming and stuff and although I was supposed to stay the night, I asked to be taken home so they could ‘reconnect’. It wasn’t long after that that first one, and then the other changed their fetlife status to ‘single’ and they split ways. So apparently I can add ‘home wrecker’ to my business card now.
The other person I’ve been on date with was a blokey, kink-curious guy who may or may not have potential. I’m wondering if I could train him up to be a play partner. It could be an interesting prospect so I’ll have to see where that goes. He is very gentlemanly and so my plan is to take it a bit slow. He is only a few years older than me and does have his shit together (although he is a perpetual single person- longest relationship 3 years) so he does tick some boxes.
The other element I have in my ‘Unholy Trinity’ as it is laughingly now known as, is a bit of a wild card but we have a bit of a booty call thing happening and he certainly does know his way around the bedroom. I don’t know how old he is and I had to stalk him on facebook to find out his last name, but we’ve met up a few times. And do you know that it is really hard to ask someone’s name after you’ve done the deed? How do you start that conversation? Oh, by the way, I should at least know your name since you’ve been inside me?!?
I’ve also got some boardgaming friends, some going to dance parties friends, some munch friends, gym friends and then there are the friends I’ve met through other friends. So from all of this, I’m sure you can see that my circle is wiiiide.
And in between all of this, I’m still skyping, emailing and talking regularly with Mark. In fact, I’m going to Melbourne at the end of this month to spend a week together with him. We’re going to enjoy Melbourne, go see Les Miserables, eat yummy food, do high tea, go to the national gallery and apparently he’s going to beat my ass black and blue. I also have a suspension session arranged at one of the bdsm clubs and another rope/suspension session arranged with a professional dominatrix. It’s going to be a full-on week.
Mark wants to get back together. I’m undecided. The interesting thing about all of this is that I left Mark because he didn’t tick all my boxes, but in all my dealing with new people and trials and tribulations, I also haven’t met anyone who ticks all my boxes. In fact, I’ve got the trinity thing happening so it takes 3+ people to do what it used to take one person. That is some weird shit when you think about it.
I should actually be writing about all of these things in more detail, but the boulder is rolling and I can’t stop it.