In other news…

  • I found a place for us to live and am signing the lease today! Squee! I’m hoping it doesn’t suck and that there aren’t weird neighbours or sounds (me and sound have such a difficult relationship) or anything else that will make my left eye start to twitch. I angsted so much about finding an apartment because it wasn’t just for me, it was for both of us and I keep thinking about M’s needs and what he would like. I must have looked at 15 to 20 places and by the end of it I was so far down my hole of indecisiveness that I couldn’t see the way out. I think M got sick of me calling him every five minutes about such and such a place and spending hours and hours on Skype discussing the pros and cons of location verses space verses floor plan.
  • Reactions to M and I getting back together have ranged from ‘WTF??!??’ to ‘WTF…I mean…WTF??!!?’ It’s been interesting to say the least. There hasn’t been a lot of positiveness and being the impressionable, needing validation person I am, it has made me feel rather angsty.
  • I called my mother for her birthday on the weekend and we ended up having a two-hour deep and meaningful that saw us both dissolve into tears about my issues with my father and how I had a sucky emotional upbringing. I find it interesting that she didn’t really know why I have so much anger towards him.
  • Three weeks ago I started the ten day blood sugar detox (yeah, you do the math). It was one of those hard-core no sugar, no caffeine, no dairy, no grains, eat lots of seeds and greens type of thing. On day 2 and 3 I suffered horrible, horrible withdrawal symptoms that made me incredibly nauseous and I had a headache that made me want to tear my head off (I had to take time off work and crawl into bed!), but after that I started feeling really good and totally in control so I just keep going…lol. I don’t think I’ve eaten so many seeds, nuts and green leafy things in my life. One things though, it doubled my food bills and actually takes a fair amount of planning and preparation. My plan is to keep going until I’ve lost the few kgs I put on in Melbourne and the from the emotional binge eating I did after getting back.
  • I’ve been waking up at crazy o-clock (4am-ish) and doing a reasonable amount of writing. I just needed that one sentence to get me started (I think it came to me while I was on the toilet dealing with my cruciferous vegetable lifestyle..tmi?) and then everything started to form in my mind. I’ve still got to make a decision about which story arc I’m going to choose (there are a couple I’ve mapped out) and then there is finding the time I need to write with moving, kitten and Mark 3.0 and an impending work trip to Japan

And that’s where I am at


8 thoughts on “In other news…

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  1. That’s sad a lot of people aren’t happy with your news re: you and M getting back together. 😦
    Easier said than done, but live for what makes you happy, not what others think should be your happiness.
    Your new diet sounds like torture to me. LOL
    Glad it’s going well for you. 🙂

  2. Well I for one wish you both all the best. And I wish you luck with the diet. I did GAPS for three years for health reasons (you had to be desperate) so I know whereof you speak.

  3. “I think it came to me while I was on the toilet dealing with my cruciferous vegetable lifestyle” Now THAT’S a sentence lol 😀
    I agree with the others that its sad to hear people aren’t happy for you guys 😦
    I’m happy for you 😀
    love xxx

  4. Mark need to sort his life out and work on his own shit. Subtle left for a reason, because she is
    vivacious and full of life and needs to be emotionally, intellectually and fucking physically engaged. you will never be happy by cutting yourself off from your soul. even if you stay with this man, who atm, can not meet your emotional, intellectual and physical needs, he should sort him self out. get some other fucking interests and loose some weight.

  5. As the same responder, i should have elaborated.
    If subtle and mark have been together for 7 plus years, then of course they care for each other deeply and have a bond that would see them want to get back with each other.
    But subtle left for a reason…and that was (It sounds like) because she had unexplored parts of herself she needed to…explore…and that the relationship with mark was unfor-filling because of his personal stuff. Very much a two way thing.
    Now it comes a cross as mark getting upset about hearing about what subtle wrote on her blog,
    at the same time, she realized she missed him and felt bad that he’d seen what she had written and then felt guilty and then they got back together…
    But surely that defeats the point, because it by-passes the actual reasons that subtle left the relationship for. Yes subtle may decide it’s mark she wants to be with ( and why shouldn’t she )
    but that isn’t the point. People still have to work on themselves and grow as people and develop.
    Why couldn’t mark have taken her constructive criticism on board and bettered him self?
    Instead of….doing nothing…getting crabby…a bit of emotional blackmail and then putting the last few months behind them???
    I just comes across like subtle has done something really brave and gone out on her own and tried to explore herself and better self and push herself and then mark hasn’t taken any of that on…it’s just this “i’ll forgive you” vibe. no! Like he cant grasp it was a two way deal, he’s just focus on her leaving/comming back like…your feeling of discontent are not going to go away.
    Dear lord.

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