News

Did I mention I got a new collar? Probably not. So here’s a picture!

Did I mention I printed all of my story and learned how to use the binding machine at my office? Probably not. So here’s a picture!

books

Did I mention I’ve been revising the story to death – chopping, adding chapters and rewriting it for the past how ever many weeks? Probably not. I have no picture of that.

Did I mention I’ve been taking photos for ebook covers and filing US tax information forms so I can publish my story on the kindle store? Probably not. Here’s a picture I rejected.

boots3

Did I mention I had my bi-annual pap smear with a new doctor and she got the speculum stuck on one of my piercings? Probably not. I also have no picture of that.

Did I mention I’m in week six of my twenty-eight week 0-42km, marathon training programme, which means I’m doing 6km runs five times a week? Probably not. You really don’t want a picture of me running (…it’s not pretty.)

So that’s my news and what I’ve been up to…in case you were wondering.

Are those crickets I hear?

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7 thoughts on “News”

  1. Love the collar ❤
    Congrats on the BOOK!!! Wow!
    Ouch for the speculum incident – that sounds like pain (and NOT in a good way)
    How did the Dr deal with it???
    Go you good thing on the training! I really need to get back into running but Queensland's Autumn has an identity crisis and thinks it's summer… humidity is STILL hovering at 99.9% every.single.day. I can hardly bring myself to walk in it let alone run. Ugh.
    Good luck with the book sales 🙂

    1. Fanks! (self-publishing ftw!)
      The Dr was hilarious. I gave her fair warning and she started telling me about another chick she had seen who had so much stuff down there she couldn’t ‘get in’…and while she was chatting she was trying to remove the speculum and I could feel this tugging sensation and she just kept pulling and chatting until I said, “Ummm…I think I’m hooked!” She apologised profusely and spent a while unhooking me and it was all good 😉
      That humidity sounds awful. We had a run of humid days here and I thought I was going to poke my eyes out because that would feel better.

  2. I really REALLY want to see photos of the pap smear incident. Damn you didn’t get photos.I would have paid good money to have seen that. PMSL
    Sorry for laughing at you; well I guess I’m not, as I am laughing. 😛 😉

    I love your new collar.
    Did you offer your work a copy of your book?
    I still think you are crazy with the whole running thing. But I’m sitting here eating a marshmallow bunny with my arse growing every wider. I think I know which one of us is going to live longer. *non nom bunny*

    SQUEEEEEEEEEE about the book! Hope you sell a bundle of them..

    1. You’re a sick puppy! What I want to know is why I always have funky pap smear experiences. Remember last time with the glad wrap?

      The new collar is about ten times lighter than the last one so my neck is appreciating the change 🙂

      So…I was EXTRA careful while handling my story at work. Could you imagine if I left that shit on the photocopier or something? Hahahahaha.
      I’m not expecting much in the way of sales. There are something like 40,000 erotic fiction books on the kindle store. I don’t even know what category to put it into…mystery/torture porn/kinda bdsm/slave training/erotic fiction…seems like a mouthful.

      I think I’m crazy with the running thing too. It is sooooo much harder than I remember it being (maybe because I’m older and fatter!) I just want that god-damn t-shirt to say I’ve finished a marathon! Then I will NEVER run again.

      1. It’s kind of like the ‘olden days’ when everything seemed so much better. Like you could run so much easier. But it was probably just as sucky then as it is now.

        I don’t remember the glad wrap pap smear. You’ll have to enlighten me. I’m wondering how I could have possibly forgotten something like that. LOL

        You never know, your bosses might have liked your story so much they bought a stack of them to give out to kinky clients. heheheehe

        Just use all those keywords and you are bound to get someone to buy your book.
        I have faith in you…. 😀

        1. When you mentioned that you didn’t know about the glad wrap incident, I went back and searched my blog for it, and you know what? I totally didn’t write about it here! (it’s one of my favourite stories to tell irl- in the right crowd, of course!).

          So, I have a latex allergy. I happened to mention this fact when I went for my previous pap smear and so the doctor, who happened to be an elderly Indian woman, immediately ran off to find some hypo-allergenic gloves.

          She couldn’t find any, but managed to find… a roll of glad wrap.

          So, she wound glad wrap around her hands and proceeded to carry out the procedure.

          I swear, I floated up out of my body and looked down at this elderly Indian woman navigating my metallic twat with her hands bundled up like a pair of vegemite sandwiches.

          It was awesome.

          Needless to say I went to a different doctor this time 🙂

          1. OMG I have just laughed SO loudly!!
            That is hysterical! I don’t think I’ll EVER get that vision out of my head. That is priceless! PMSL lots!

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