A dominant decides, a submissive complies

When he yells, “Bring me a coffee, bitch!” does she barely bat an eyelid and bring him a coffee with a heaped teaspoon of coffee, the required level of milk (poured in before the hot water) and an appropriate snack?

Then she’s probably a submissive.

When he yells, “Boots and collar, my bed, now!” does she go find her boots, put them on (even though they stick to her legs with sweat -it’s the middle of summer ffs!), strip, arrange herself appropriately on his bed and doesn’t mutter a word of complaint when his fingernails are just a little too long to be comfortable in her twat?

Then she’s probably a submissive.

When he tells her lies about how he cleaned the stove properly, why he left the dirty water in the sink to congeal for the fifty millionth time and why he ate all her scones and she takes it all in her stride?

Then she’s probably a submissive.

When he tells her he doesn’t beat her ass as much as he really wants to because he loves her and therefore treats her like a princess and she accepts that as a legitimate response?

Then she’s probably a submissive.

When he pulls her slightly overgrown twat hairs and twists her nipple so hard it cracks and bleeds and she does nothing but say, ‘Fuuuuuuuk!’?

Then she’s probably a submissive.

I could go on of course, but I think you get the idea.

I’ve thought a lot about what makes a person submissive and written more posts about it than anything else. I’ve wavered between whether I’m a submissive or slave or whatever and I’ve kind of come to the conclusion that I’m never going to have a satisfactory answer to that question because I’m never really satisfied with anything to do with myself (true story…and kind of sad but that’s how I roll.)

Essentially to be submissive, you just have to be a giving person. You put someone else’s needs and wishes above your own and you go along with what they say and want you to do. I don’t think it really gets any more complicated than that.

A dominant decides, a submissive complies.

(and yes, I’m rather proud of that little rhyme…)

Our world functions because there are a few people who tell everyone else what to do and for the most part, the others do what they are told. Nothing would ever get done if there weren’t people giving and taking and in life, as in the bedroom, both people can’t be barking orders at the same time. There is a wide spectrum of dominant/submissive behaviour and those of us who dabble in D/s relationships are probably more on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

I don’t like telling other people what to do. It feels to me like a lot of responsibility – what if my decision was wrong, what if something bad happens as a result of it? If it’s someone else’s decision and it goes pear-shaped, I then have license to mock the decision (and the person who made it) mercilessly. Happy times.

I particularly don’t like asking people to do things for me. It feels selfish and I feel like I’m giving them a burden but more than anything it’s also because I don’t trust anyone to do anything.

As a submissive, I think you have to be comfortable about letting go. Letting go of control, stepping out of your comfort zone and turning off those anxious voices inside that direct you towards flight and fear.

After ten years I’m still working on all of those things.

any other man




One thought on “A dominant decides, a submissive complies

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  1. i think this is a really interesting post you’ve written – and i always appreciate your writings. I get the impression from reading here over the years…well, it seems like a your a super interesting person. Really funny and intelligent, but like – your holding yourself back? I say this because you write you don’t trust yourself, and you’d rather sit back and let someone else make mistakes so the heat wont be on you – i love your honesty! I’ve probably felt like that too. And i’m in now way saying your doing anything ‘wrong’ by having that attitude, as a sub or just a human. Buuut like i said i feel like you’ve got so much ability and it’s like your stunting your own growth. I don’t think you’s be less submissive if you where more in your personal power – sounds hypocritical right? i somehow think it wouldn’t be though. argh i cant explain it properly – but while you where having your rummspringa (!) i was cheering you on! it felt like you cut yourself down before you got what you wanted – i feel like M isnt on a path of growth and eventually it will niggle away between you to and you will live being unsatisfied. Locking yourself down out of fear isnt going to make you happy

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