The story so far… I spent most of my ‘adult life’ in Japan, leaving home as soon as I finished high school. I did my undergraduate degree in Tokyo and ran a little freelance J>E translation business from my ‘2×4’ apartment (that wasn’t the method of construction, that was the size…lol.) All in all, I was there for about 11 years.

Interested in chains and cuffs and naughty little things from a young age, I practised self-bondage for quite a few years in my vanilla relationship. While keeping it ‘under wraps’ (sorry about the pun…), I went about my daily life and even managed to get myself married. A couple of years down the track, I realised that it just ‘didn’t fit’. He wanted kids, I didn’t and he knew nothing about my ‘darker side’.

After some ‘online D/s’ I was tempted by the sweet words of a domly one, promptly divorced hubby and came back to Australia with just a suitcase in hand in 2005. It turned out that the ‘dom’ had lied outrageously to me – in that he had a criminal record, had very limited D/s experience, was struggling with his own demons and was not in a position to be my owner and protector. I’d sacrificed a lot for a relationship I thought would make me happy, so I gave him many opportunities to change for the better. But of course, he never did and I left after a year.

During all of that I’d been chatting with M off and on for twelve months. He had always had a friendly ear for my troubles and there were many times when we were chatting that I wished he was ‘my owner’. So after doing some healing and rethinking things, over to the other side of Australia I came to be with him in August of 2006.

M took absolutely no time to impose his ownership on me, and promptly pierced me with six labia rings and a clithood barbell, tattooed my rump with the Japanese characters for ‘slave’ and locked a permanent steel collar around my neck.

We spent seven and a half years together, during which I went back to university and got a post-graduate degree and our relationship went through several incarnations including a short period I like to call the Great Switcheroo where, due to a dynamic change in our relationship, M became the slave and I became the Mistress.

In early 2014 I made some difficult decisions and decided to move out of the house we shared, bringing an end to our relationship. M moved back to Melbourne and I rented an apartment and stayed in Perth.

Then in yet another twist and after a lot of soul-searching, in August 2014 we reconciled and M moved back to Perth and I found us a larger apartment to live in together. I’ve got a new collar and we’re exploring a more subdued M/s relationship. Who knows where things will go next?

2015 marks ten years since I left my husband and left Japan. Ten years of bdsm – my, how things have changed!

I’ve always struggled with M/s and mostly this blog has been a collection of my ponderings, angst and random things I feel like sharing.

I’m currently pondering happiness and what I want from life.

24 thoughts on “About

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  1. Wow, this is very interesting…your life with Master. It’s actually a turn on for me and I think I’ll learn from you some interestnig things. I myself seek a slave, haven’t found one yet but will keep looking.

    I like giving orders and spanking butt until color changes, then immersing myself in long sucking. God my emotions are running high now and I feel the adrenalin rush and my heart racing, I’m flushed.

    I’m glad I found you.

  2. you mention in a few posts that you have lost some weight? i saw pictures on your master’s site, and, i want to tell you that you look great! also, wanted to ask- has being a slave helped you achieve your weight loss goals or was it purely self-motivational? or both? just wondering!

    1. Hi!

      Yes, over the last six months I’ve lost about 20kg. I’ve still got a couple of kilos to lose until I get to my goal weight, but these last few kilos are really putting up a fight! They don’t want to go anywhere…Lol.

      I definitely felt a certain amount of pressure to lose weight as we play in public and he’s always taking pics of me and posting them willy nilly. I can always ‘feel’ people looking at me. I also wanted to be more ‘visually’ pleasing and I guess I wanted him to be more proud of me being his slave.

      He’s never said to me that I had to lose weight or anything and says absolutely nothing about what I eat or what exercise I do, so the actual weight-loss thing was totally left to me. Personally, I don’t think you can be sucessful at changing yourself unless you take responsiblity and control it. I read about a lot of slaves wanting their owners to control their diet etc. and many try it, but it never seems to work.

      Thanks for the questiong and comment 🙂

  3. I’m totally going to keep coming back to see what’s new! I lived in Japan for a few years teaching as well, and loved it there. I’m very interested in hearing about your experiences! I too would like to have some sort of job using my Japanese skills, but sadly I don’t think I’ll be able to. I want to try to keep up my fluency though. I just recently found a really authentic Japanese restaurant in town, so maybe the patrons there can help me keep it up!

    1. I don’t do a huge amount of posts about Japan because I did a poll a while back about what people wanted me to write about and Japan was the thing people *didn’t* want me to write about! Lol. I do slip in a few details here and there though, because it still makes up a huge part of my life and I can’t let it go.

      We’re going to Japan for two weeks at the end of March/beginning of April so there will be quite a few posts made then though.

      Thanks for the comment 🙂

  4. I’m totally going to keep coming back to see what’s new! I lived in Japan for a few years teaching as well, and loved it there. I’m very interested in hearing about your experiences! I too would like to have some sort of job using my Japanese skills, but sadly I don’t think I’ll be able to. I want to try to keep up my fluency though. I just recently found a really authentic Japanese restaurant in town, so maybe the patrons there can help me keep it up!

    1. Hi and thanks for leaving the comment 🙂

      Japan is so addictive and for the people who love it, I don’t think you can ever really get it out of your mind!

      Depending on where you live, you may be able to find some Japanese groups or things you can join into in order to have opportunities to use your Japanese. I’m fortunate in that I get to speak Japanese all day when I’m at work, so it helps keep my brain in Japanese mode. I also watch a lot of Japanese tv and read blogs and newspapers on the internet. I wish I would have had the internet in my early days in Japan -it would have made things so much easier!!

  5. Very intersting blog…I shall have to read more. I am also an owned collared submissive, although currently my Master and I live apart, but not for much longer. I know I need to read more and maybe you have already mentioned on your blog already but I am curious to know if you have your nipples pierced as my Master wishes to have mine done too?


    1. No, I don’t have my nipples pierced. It is something that M has threatened to do, but the reality is that my body doesn’t react well to piercing so it will probably…I’m hoping…never happen 🙂

  6. I have just started reading your blog and as always am interested in another submissives views and experiences. I was fascinated by your labia piercings, I have recently had my nipples pierced and love them I have been fortunate I understand in that they have healed quickly with little dicomfort. But I am wanting to get my clit hood done and possibly labia, waiting for Masters instuctions on this currently.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences.


    1. Hi Aphro!

      If you had little trouble with your nipples, then it’s unlikely that you will have trouble anywhere else. My body does not react well to piercings and I’ve had trouble with everything – including my ears!

      With the labia, there are two options – the outer and inner. The inner labia tissue is a lot like the clithood and heals very quickly in a couple of weeks. The outer labia is a different story and can take anywhere from 3 months to 12 months or in my case, 36 months of pain and then finally having them migrate out (out of the six, two of mine never healed and just painfully migrated out.)

      Good luck with whatever your Master decides 🙂

  7. Hey!

    Just discovered your blog – it’s great! I’m completely new to the whole BDSM lifestyle, but I’m a sub and am really interested in other submissives experiences and lifestyles.

    I, too, am from Perth – it’s good to know I’m not the only one here (in the most remote city in the world its easy to feel that way sometimes).

    Thanx for sharing 🙂

  8. I just thought I’d finally mention that whenever the Captain gets the urge to pierce my nethers, I remind him about your experiences with labial piercings and he changes his mind.

    So… thanks?

  9. Whats up this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

    1. I’ve never made my own blog templates with code as I’m not that savvy. I think most blog sites use CSS rather than html these days. There’s plenty of stuff available on sites like wordpress, livejournal, blogspot etc. that means the average person doesn’t need to know any code to have a blog. The only time I use html is when I embed photos and videos from external sites.

  10. Wow. I had your blog in Google reader which I transitioned to Feedly recently. All this time I never took the time to read about you. This is something big and I am happy you are sharing your thoughts and experience. Thank you so much. Let me know if you are on fetlife. Cheers.

    1. Hi and a belated welcome 🙂
      I keep thinking I need to re-write this page as it’s kind of getting old now and needs a new spin.
      M and I have a profile on fetlife, but I’m hardly ever there these days.
      Happy reading.

  11. Hi I have read your blog for such a long time now, from when you were on livejournal then moved across to here. After the ‘Great Switch-a-Roo’ it all went quiet I kept checking back but there were no updates. I randomly thought of you the other day and i was so pleased you were back! Yey for you! Does M have a blog too? Yours comes up in google when I type subtle times but I don’t know what M’s is to see things from his point of view! 😦

    1. Hello and thanks for sticking with me for so long 🙂
      I was in a bad place there for a while (life, work, relationship, you know, the big 3) and blogging was the last thing on my mind, but now I realise I probably would have been able to deal better with things if I had kept pouring it out here…
      M does have a blog but he hardly writes. He spends much more time food-blogging these days.

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