The story so far… I spent most of my ‘adult life’ in Japan, leaving home as soon as I finished high school. I did my undergraduate degree in Tokyo and ran a little freelance J>E translation business from my ‘2×4’ apartment (that wasn’t the method of construction, that was the size…lol.) All in all, I was there for about 11 years.
Interested in chains and cuffs and naughty little things from a young age, I practised self-bondage for quite a few years in my vanilla relationship. While keeping it ‘under wraps’ (sorry about the pun…), I went about my daily life and even managed to get myself married. A couple of years down the track, I realised that it just ‘didn’t fit’. He wanted kids, I didn’t and he knew nothing about my ‘darker side’.
After some ‘online D/s’ I was tempted by the sweet words of a domly one, promptly divorced hubby and came back to Australia with just a suitcase in hand in 2005. It turned out that the ‘dom’ had lied outrageously to me – in that he had a criminal record, had very limited D/s experience, was struggling with his own demons and was not in a position to be my owner and protector. I’d sacrificed a lot for a relationship I thought would make me happy, so I gave him many opportunities to change for the better. But of course, he never did and I left after a year.
During all of that I’d been chatting with M off and on for twelve months. He had always had a friendly ear for my troubles and there were many times when we were chatting that I wished he was ‘my owner’. So after doing some healing and rethinking things, over to the other side of Australia I came to be with him in August of 2006.
M took absolutely no time to impose his ownership on me, and promptly pierced me with six labia rings and a clithood barbell, tattooed my rump with the Japanese characters for ‘slave’ and locked a permanent steel collar around my neck.
We spent seven and a half years together, during which I went back to university and got a post-graduate degree and our relationship went through several incarnations including a short period I like to call the Great Switcheroo where, due to a dynamic change in our relationship, M became the slave and I became the Mistress.
In early 2014 I made some difficult decisions and decided to move out of the house we shared, bringing an end to our relationship. M moved back to Melbourne and I rented an apartment and stayed in Perth.
Then in yet another twist and after a lot of soul-searching, in August 2014 we reconciled and M moved back to Perth and I found us a larger apartment to live in together. I’ve got a new collar and we’re exploring a more subdued M/s relationship. Who knows where things will go next?
2015 marks ten years since I left my husband and left Japan. Ten years of bdsm – my, how things have changed!
I’ve always struggled with M/s and mostly this blog has been a collection of my ponderings, angst and random things I feel like sharing.
I’m currently pondering happiness and what I want from life.