An update

Oops…it’s been a month since I updated as the running twat. Sorry. Mostly my lack of updates is due to the fact that I’ve not been a running twat for a few weeks now.

Yep, I stopped.

Why?

Well, there are a couple of reasons….firstly, I really don’t function well without a goal in mind. After finishing my Freeway to 10km thing, I was uberly lost and just had nothing to keep me going. And secondly, and more importantly, I really needed to get my eating under control.

From mid-October, I’d embarked on a major binge fest.I was doing all those funky things that binge eaters like to do: buying and hiding food, non-stop grazing and massive amounts of ‘reward eating’. I get into  a mind-set of reward eating when I’m doing something that I’m not enjoying and once I’ve done that distasteful task, I stuff myself silly with food. Running without a purpose was really grating on me and it was such a struggle to get out the door that once I’d managed to do a run, it was a free-for-all as far as food was concerned once I returned. I’ve just run 10km? Great! I can now eat four litres of ice cream, a sponge cake and a block of chocolate! Yippee!

Even though I was still running, I was eating way more than I was ever burning off and I was eating to the point that running was actually making me nauseous because my stomach was constantly full.

Not a good situation.

So I stopped running so that I wouldn’t need to reward myself and it’s been working. I’ve been clean for a good three weeks now – no thoughts of food filling my every waking moment and no binging. I”m eating when I’m hungry and being sensible about it – listening to my body and trying to eat like a ‘normal person’ instead of food ruling my life. I’ve also stopped hanging around the dieting forums so much. I found that not listening to all the talk about calories and exercise has stopped me being so obsessed about it.

I wished that I liked exercise and then I’ll be able to do it for its sake and its sake alone.  The only time I’ve really enjoyed exercise was when I was doing aerobics classes in Japan. They were great – challenging, cool and there was a real sense of achievement after completing them. I used to do an advanced step class and freestyle aerobics. The step class was amazing;  not expecting much I rocked up for my first class and ended up walking out after 5 minutes because I couldn’t follow *any* of it. The instructor came to see me afterwards and suggested I try an intermediate class first. So I did and even that took me a good 3 or 4 months before I could keep up with it. I made it into the advanced class finally but there was rarely a class where I’d be able to finish it without stuffing up.

We also used to do what’s called ‘multi-step’ and that was lots of fun too, but if you stuffed up, you’d stuff up everyone around you, so it was a bit more stressful.

The aerobics classes were fabulous too. I had an instructor who would plan a routine and we’d spend three weeks ‘learning’ it (each week learning a bit more) until in the last week, we’d do the whole thing from start to finish and have a great sense of achievement. Then the next month would be a new routine to learn so it would always be fresh and challenging.

Step & aerobics in general in Australia is ridiculously boring. Classes everywhere are just repetitions of the Les Mills classes and instructors don’t create their own material. I’ve been to several gyms and have not bothered going back once the boredom kicks in.

As far as the running twat is concerned, I’ve come this far and would still like to achieve a bit more with it. Next year there are several marathons and I’m thinking about going for a half-marathon. There is an 18 week training programme for a half-marathon I can do, so I’ve been thinking that after Christmas, I’ll start on that. Until then, I’ll be keeping my eating on a tight leash.

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