Reaching new heights

We had a five-day weekend over Easter this year thanks to another public holiday landing slap bang in the middle of that Christian pagan festival and so I took the opportunity to take my sloth-ness to startling new levels. I ate. I slept. I ate some more. I trolled the internet for porn. I ate. I played WoW. I...

OMGWTFPUMA!!!

PUMA=pineapple up my ass That was my week at work. And I now have a stress tic in my right eye that is driving me crazy and looks oh-so-sexy. I'm soooooooooo asking for a pay raise in June. That is all.

Thou knowst winter is upon ye when…

Your significant other orders you a cuddlee blankie: (That's not me by the way btw, but I do like her they-just-forced-me-into-this-pic-and-now-I-hate-my-life look because it looks disturbingly like mine...) Beats a snuggie or a slanket anyday, I say. (Do they pay people to come up with these names???) And zebra-print!! Look at it and weep people.

Why I think I’d be good in a cult

Tonight I watched part 2 of the series, Meet the Amish and once again I thought that I'd be fantastic in a cult. Meet the Amish follows five Amish folk on their "Rumspringa" - their chance to experience the outside world before being baptised into the Amish religion from whence there is no return. They've...

And now in more depressing news

Every Saturday morning for the last month, I've sat down with a big-ass cappuccino, some crumpets with honey and the latest photo journals from Japan. During the first couple of weeks, there were many, many pictures of the wall of water that had been flashed all over the foreign media and now that the foreign...

Huh?

There are lots of things I do that I don't understand. Things like: Why I must only use three sheets of toilet paper when wiping my peachy ass. Why I actively seek jobs dealing with people when dealing with people makes me want to slash my wrists on a regular basis. Why neighbours must use...

It’s not a tumour…or is it?

My sister's visit to the specialist resulted in a, "We don't think it's a tumour, but we really don't know what you've got" diagnosis. Apparently tumours don't show up as particular colours on an mri and they detected other areas of inflammation on her brain. All her blood tests were clear though, so at the...