Tainted

One of the perks (I guess you could call it that) of my job is that there are only two people in the office - with one of them being me. This means that when the other person - also known as my boss - is away, it's just me, myself and I in the office. So...

How was your Sunday?

I started my Sunday with a couple of slaps across the face, some arm twisting, pinching, grappling and quite a few tears. Just a typical Sunday morning in the house of a non-compliant slave...lol. Now I don't know about you, but when I'm told, 'Open your mouth' so that the man can do a 'here-comes-the-aeroplane!'...

What to do when you don’t want to play

For a while now I've felt my interest in all things kinky to be waning. It's a lot like I'm simply going through the motions and I find myself feigning interest because I'm 'wearing the shiny thing' and that obliges you to be interested in that stuff. Honestly, I think if I didn't have another kinky moment in my...

Why I don’t think sucking it up is the answer to everything

You wear the shiny thing so suck it up. It's a phrase I hear all the time and it drives me absolutely crazy. I think, feel, worry, hesitate, angst just like every other human being. Wearing something around my neck does not help me deal with things any better and it does not make all...

When he’s sick

I was thinking about what was behind my little outburst in my last post. Well, I don't know if you can really call it an 'outburst', as much as it was simply me telling the truth instead of saying what I think he wants to hear. I'll admit that I do that a lot -...

Ignorance is bliss

For the two weeks we were away I hardly looked at the internet. I checked my hotmail and the weather report and that was about it. No fetlife, no blogs, no spending huge amounts of time pissing around on the internet when I could have been doing something more productive and I have to say,...

A burning moment

The first blog back after an extended absence is always such a momentous task. I really hate doing them. Not only do you feel the pressure of needing to be witty and entertaining right off the bat (which, anyone who has met me in rl will testify, doesn't come naturally to me) but you're also faced with the...

A slave’s victory

There are moments when I feel so powerful and so in control that I almost get giddy with the joy it gives me. But hang on, I'm a slave and I'm not supposed to be the one 'in control' or the one with 'the power'. Aren't I supposed to be the oppressed, the subjugated, the...

TPE or TLC?

You know what the biggest killer of power-exchange relationships is? It's not lies, doms acting like a-holes or emotionally unstable subs. It's complacency. I had a moment this morning when I thought I'd well and truly crossed the never-to-be-crossed-again line that separates the comfortable from the complacent. Master was ravishing me and I let rip...

Quirks & Dried Squid

Master said he was sorry. But I'm not sure whether he actually meant it or whether he just said it so I wouldn't kiss him with my squid breath. I had the munchies yesterday and after sucking the marrow out of several squid bodies I got all close and personal with Master. He had a...

Homebody

I wonder whether being 'anti-social' is part and parcel of being a slave?   I've noticed on a lot of other blogs that people class themselves as anti-social and I am one of the biggest confirmed recluses ever, so I've had a question in my mind for a while now: Does it go with the territory or is it...

Comatose

My boss and I were having a conversation on Friday about how 'dangerous' Australia is. Not in regards to how it has more than its fair share of deadliest creatures on the planet including spiders, snakes and sharks, but how life is so quiet and uneventful that you're in constant danger of being lulled into...

I pwned myself

Remember how I announced to the world that I was becoming a new and improved slave (now with 45% more fibre!)? How I wrote up a big passionate thing about how I was going to change my ways and consciously choose to submit instead of simply surrendering? Well, I'd just like to report back that...

You’ve never really been beaten unless you’ve begged him to stop

Stroke after stroke, scoring the flesh, scarring the flesh.The burning heat. The jagged sting. The screams, the moans, the tears. Culminating in a desperate plea, repeated over and over again, "Have mercy, Master..." It's such a hot fantasy, isn't it? In my fantasy, the beating is usually followed by several earth-shaking orgasms and my domly...

Kiddy stuff

Master and I aren't into age-play. While he may call me 'girlie' (among other things...:) ) on occasion, I'm not his baby girl and he's certainly not my daddy. And although technically with the 19 year age gap and all, he could be my father, we're just not interested in whiling away the afternoon with...

Norti and Nice

(Click here to see the winner (s) of the "I'm an innernets smartipants!" award from yesterday's post.) I stupidly worked up the courage this morning on the bus to tell my mum and my sister about Jacque. The act of texting the words, of course, got me all a sobbing again so there I was...

Just breathe and reboot

Meltdowns are a fairly common topic when I read subbly folk's blogs, hell, I have them myself often enough and the general idea is that when a meltdown occurs something is wrong, but I'm convinced that often a meltdown is not an indication that something is wrong, but actually that something is right. I find...

Another milestone

Well, I've now been a slave for longer than I was a married woman (technically I was with my ex for ten years but we were only married for three of those years). I announced this startling fact to Master last night and asked him in my cutest, please-don't-beat-me-for-being-a-smart-ass voice whether he felt privileged at 'lasting...

Hypothetically speaking

I asked Master THE QUESTION tonight. The one that every slave at one time or another wants desperately to ask and always thinks about, but very rarely puts into words: 'What would happen if I didn't want to be a slave anymore?' I already knew the answer, but I just wanted to see whether the answer...

I think I have an addiction

Yes, yet another pair of boots have entered the building: I officially name these 'biker chick boots' and I think this brings my boot tally to...ummm...27 pairs? To be honest I lost count somewhere around 22... Along with the boots I bought several dresses, corset tops, belts and a jacket which in total came to the lovely...

No longer who I was

From today I no longer have a Japanese surname. Yes, I finally got my new passport after numerous interviews, phone calls and a couple of written statutory declarations. Due to both my marriage and divorce never being recorded in Australia, explaining why I had a Japanese surname on my old passport turned into a huge...

Housemates, girlfriends, slaves

I take on numerous roles in my day-to-day life, from surly public transport passenger in the morning, to Master's ravishing partner at night. In the hours between I'll also dabble in such roles as: invoice-making bitch, exercise-junkie with bad fashion sense and dishwasher-stacker. The role that is the only inter-connecting thread between this multitude of...

Out of control

So yesterday I totally caved on my diet and had the hugest binge. My stomach is physically sore this morning like I've been punched a few dozen times after being stretched so much from the sheer amount of food that I consumed. It's been many, many months since I had my last binge and the whole thing...

The Club

When I first moved to be with Master, he used to have a lady come in once a week and clean the house for a couple of hours. That arrangement had been in place because his last partner had been working full-time and she had wanted to spend her weekends doing something other than cleaning. Of course,...

Small

A big part of why I do this thing called 'slavery' is that I have a need for the feeling of being kept & protected. I wrote previously about the relationship security that I get from being someone's property, but I've also recently noticed that feeling safe and secure - both mentally and physically - play a...

Uncomfortable in my own skin

Master is a very sexual being. He needs at least a daily ravishing and has absolutely no problems talking about how I make him feel. He indulges,  pretty much without fail, in his word porn during every interrogation session and basically, is just very comfortable with the reality of sex between two people. Me? I...

The one where I lament my lack of marks and wonder how you can politely turn down an offer to be fucked

I'd rate the ouchiness factor of my administrations from The Tormentor & Master's beating on Saturday at a respectable 7/10, however my pretty trophy rating is a measly 4/10. FYI, a 10/10 on my ouchiness factor is something that makes you cry, big, snotty blubbery tears and your brain is screaming, "I can't fucking take this any...

By the way side

Last night Master did something that he has not done for a very long time - he came into my room after I'd gone to bed and checked whether I was sleeping with my bed chain attached to my collar. I can't remember the last time he did that...four months ago? six months ago? last...

Dom Wanted: Apply within.

Position vacant: Dom Must have: Experience, financial stability, police clearance, care factor for property, own shit together Desirable: A castle, crisp suits, red sportscar, maid Nightfall left an interesting observation on my previous post saying that women (whether submissive or domme) want a man with experience and that it is hard to get that experience. Of course...

That thing called ‘choice’

Hello and welcome to part two of our series, "What's in it for me?" In part one several weeks ago, we discussed how I like the feeling of security I get from being property and in part two we'll discuss my little problem with making choices and how being a slave fixes that. Near the...